A Halakhic Way to Embrace Intermarriage Part 1: The Prohibition of Intermarriage

(1) Abraham was now old, advanced in years, and ה׳ had blessed Abraham in all things. (2) And Abraham said to the senior servant of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, “Put your hand under my thigh (3) and I will make you swear by ה׳, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell, (4) but will go to the land of my birth and get a wife for my son Isaac.”

(46) Rebekah said to Isaac, “I am disgusted with my life because of the Hittite women. If Jacob marries a Hittite woman like these, from among the native women, what good will life be to me?” (1) So Isaac sent for Jacob and blessed him. He instructed him, saying, “You shall not take a wife from among the Canaanite women. (2) Up, go to Paddan-aram, to the house of Bethuel, your mother’s father, and take a wife there from among the daughters of Laban, your mother’s brother. (3) May El Shaddai bless you, make you fertile and numerous, so that you become an assembly of peoples.

(6) When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him off to Paddan-aram to take a wife from there, charging him, as he blessed him, “You shall not take a wife from among the Canaanite women,” (7) and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and gone to Paddan-aram, (8) Esau realized that the Canaanite women displeased his father Isaac. (9) So Esau went to Ishmael and took to wife, in addition to the wives he had, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, sister of Nebaioth.

(45) Pharaoh then gave Joseph the name Zaphenath-paneah; and he gave him for a wife Asenath daughter of Poti-phera, priest of On. Thus Joseph emerged in charge of the land of Egypt.—

(8) Noticing Joseph’s sons, Israel asked, “Who are these?” (9) And Joseph said to his father, “They are my sons, whom God has given me here.” “Bring them up to me,” he said, “that I may bless them.”

(16) Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters. They came to draw water, and filled the troughs to water their father’s flock; (17) but shepherds came and drove them off. Moses rose to their defense, and he watered their flock. (18) When they returned to their father Reuel, he said, “How is it that you have come back so soon today?” (19) They answered, “An Egyptian rescued us from the shepherds; he even drew water for us and watered the flock.” (20) He said to his daughters, “Where is he then? Why did you leave the man? Ask him in to break bread.” (21) Moses consented to stay with the man, and he gave Moses his daughter Zipporah as wife.

(1) Once Samson went down to Timnah; and while in Timnah, he noticed a certain young Philistine woman. (2) On his return, he told his father and mother, “I noticed one of the Philistine women in Timnah; please get her for me as a wife.”

(1) Once Samson went down to Timnah; and while in Timnah, he noticed a certain young Philistine woman. (2) On his return, he told his father and mother, “I noticed one of the Philistine women in Timnah; please get her for me as a wife.” (3) His father and mother said to him, “Is there no one among the daughters of your own kindred and among all our people, that you must go and take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” But Samson answered his father, “Get me that one, for she is the one that pleases me.”

(4) In his old age, his wives turned away Solomon’s heart after other gods, and he was not as wholeheartedly devoted to the ETERNAL his God as his father David had been.

(1) When the LORD your God brings you to the land that you are about to enter and possess, and He dislodges many nations before you—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites, seven nations much larger than you— (2) and the LORD your God delivers them to you and you defeat them, you must doom them to destruction: grant them no terms and give them no quarter. (3) You shall not intermarry with them: do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. (4) For they will turn your children away from Me to worship other gods, and the LORD’s anger will blaze forth against you and He will promptly wipe you out. (5) Instead, this is what you shall do to them: you shall tear down their altars, smash their pillars, cut down their sacred posts, and consign their images to the fire. (6) For you are a people consecrated to the LORD your God: of all the peoples on earth the LORD your God chose you to be His treasured people.

(6) Just then a certain Israelite man came and brought a Midianite woman over to his companions, in the sight of Moses and of the whole Israelite community who were weeping at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. (7) When Phinehas, son of Eleazar son of Aaron the priest, saw this, he left the assembly and, taking a spear in his hand, (8) he followed the Israelite man into the chamber and stabbed both of them, the Israelite man and the woman, through the belly. Then the plague against the Israelites was checked. (9) Those who died of the plague numbered twenty-four thousand. (10) ה׳ spoke to Moses, saying, (11) “Phinehas, son of Eleazar son of Aaron the priest, has turned back My wrath from the Israelites by displaying among them his passion for Me, so that I did not wipe out the Israelite people in My passion.

(11) Judah has broken faith; abhorrent things have been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned what is holy to, and desired by, GOD—and espoused daughters of alien gods. (12) May GOD leave to any man who has done this no descendants dwelling in the tents of Jacob and presenting offerings to GOD of Hosts.

(29) “And the rest of the people, the priests, the Levites, the gatekeepers, the singers, the temple servants, and all who separated themselves from the peoples of the lands to [follow] the Teaching of God, their wives, sons and daughters, all who know enough to understand, (30) join with their noble brothers, and take an oath with sanctions to follow the Teaching of God, given through Moses the servant of God, and to observe carefully all the commandments of the LORD our Lord, His rules and laws. (31) “Namely: We will not give our daughters in marriage to the peoples of the land, or take their daughters for our sons.

(1a) He prohibited us from marrying heretics. And that is His, may He be exalted, saying, "And you shall not marry them" (Deuteronomy 7:3). And he explained what marriage is - "do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons." And in the explanation (Avodah Zarah 36b), they said, "The Torah forbade [it when it is] by way of marriage."

(1b) And there are distinctions about the punishment of one who transgresses this negative commandment. And that is that when the one who has sexual relations with an Aramean has sexual relations in public - anyone who kills him while he is clinging to the sin has carried out the punishment, as Pinchas did to Zimri (Numbers 25:6-8). And they said (Sanhedrin 81a), "One who has sexual relations with an Aramean, zealots may attack him" - but with the conditions that we mentioned. And that is that he has relations with her in public, and [that the punishment is meted out] at the time of the act - like the story that happened (with Pinchas and Zimri).

(1c) But if he did not do this in public or he [already] separated and the zealots did not attack him, he is liable for excision. However this excision is not made clear in the Torah: They said, "[When] zealots did not attack him, what is [the law]?" And it is explained that it is excision (cutting off), from His saying, "for Judah has profaned what is holy to the Lord - what He loves - and espoused daughters of alien gods. The Lord will cut off from the man that does this all living offspring" (Malachi 2:11-12). [This] implies that it is with excision. However when it becomes confirmed about a man - with witnesses and a warning - that he had sexual relations with an Aramean, he is lashed, by Torah law. And know this. (See Parashat Vaetchanan; Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 12.)

(1a) When a Jew engages in relations with a woman from other nations, [taking her] as his spouse or a Jewess engages in relations with a non-Jew as his spouse, they are punished by lashes, according to Scriptural Law. As [Deuteronomy 7:3] states: "You shall not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughter to his son, and do not take his daughter for your son."

(1b) This prohibition applies equally to [individuals from] the seven [Canaanite] nations and all other gentiles. This was explicitly stated in Ezra [Nechemiah 10:31]: "That we will not give our daughters to the gentiles in the land and that we will not take their daughters for our sons."

(2a) The Scriptural prohibition applies only to marital relations. When, by contrast, one engages in relations with a gentile woman with a licentious intent, he is given "stripes for rebellious conduct" according to Rabbinic Law. [This is a] decree, lest this lead to marriage.

(2b) If [a Jew] designates [a gentile woman] for licentious relations, he is liable for relations with a niddah, a maid-servant, a gentile woman, and a licentious woman. If he did not designate her for himself, but instead, [engage in relations with her] spontaneously, he is only liable for relations with a gentile woman. All of these liabilities are Rabbinic in origin.

(1a) Do not marry with idolaters: That we should not marry with the nations — and Rambam, may his memory be blessed, wrote (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Forbidden Intercourse 12:1), “Not with the seven nations and with the other nations” — as it is stated (Deuteronomy 7:3), “You shall not marry with them.” And the matter of marriages is that he give his daughter to [the idolater’s] son or his son to his daughter, and as the verse elucidates, “you shall not give your daughter to his son, and his daughter you shall not take for your son.” And all the more so one who mates with them [himself], as he himself is included in this prohibition. And we say in Tractate Avodah Zarah 36b [that it is] by way of marriages that the Torah forbade. But even though this verse of “You shall not marry them” is written specifically about the seven nations and in their being converts — and so is it understood by our Rabbis, who said in the Gemara (Yevamot 76a), “In their being converts, they have marriages, in their being gentiles, they do not have marriages” — in that which the Scripture restates [that which is already understood], “you shall not give your daughter to his son, and his daughter you shall not take for your son,” it [comes to] include the seven nations and all of the other nations even in their being gentiles. But the seven nations are forbidden even in their being converts because they were the main [source] of idolatry and its first foundation, whereas the other nations are permitted by conversion. But one who has sexual relations on occasion, such as a man who has sexual relations privately with his harlot — this is only a rabbinic prohibition, and it is the prohibition of nashgaz (the Hebrew initials of the four types of women included: menstruant, maidservant, gentile, harlot) mentioned in Avodah Zarah 76a.

(1b) Re: the roots of the commandment. Since most of the masses — in their stupidity — are drawn after the counsel of their wives, if one marries the “daughter of a foreign god,” she will draw him to worship idolatry. And also because her children that are born from her will be raised towards idolatry. And woe to the one who disqualifies his seed.

[MY TRANSLATION]

(1a) A Kuthtite, even though she is not forbidden by rabbinic decree, and even if a Jew has forbidden sexual relations out of wedlock, he is given lashes according to a rabbinic level. And if he secludes himself with her for purposes of licentiousness, he is liable via rabbinic decree due to the four prohibitions of [having sexual relations with] women 1) who are menstruating, 2) who are maidservants, 3) who are non-Jews, and 4) who are prostitutes.

(1b) Maimonides z"l wrote regarding a a Jewish man who has sexual relations with a Kuthite: [A Jewish man who has sexual relations] with a non-Jew for the purpose of marriage receives lashes according to the Torah, as does a Jewish woman who who has sexual relations with a non-Jew for a similar purpose - because of the commandment "Do not intermarry with them" (Deuteronomy 7:3). This prohibition applies both to the seven Canaanite nations and all nations in general.

(1c) And it seems to me that this command is only in regards to the seven Canaanite nations as [Maimonides' conclusion] is not supported by Rabbi Shimon who said "For they will remove" comes to expand all who remove." Even the seven Canaanite nations do not receive lashes because of the command "Do not intermarry" rather after they convert. However, when it comes to the other nations, there is no [prohibition related to] marriage, and they are not lasted until a sexual act is committed, and then they are lashed because of the prohibition "do not take" their daughter for your son...

(1d) Behold his punishment is explained by tradition that he is cut off, as Torah says "For Judah desecrated what was holy to, and desired by, God - and espoused daughters of alien gods. May God leave to any man who has done this no descendants" (Malachi 2:11). And Maimonides wrote that this sin, though it is not punished with death by the rabbinic court, is not to be viewed lightly, rather it is a loss that is not experienced by any of the other sexual prohibitions, for ia chld from a sexual transgression is still his child in all ways, and is certainly considered a Jew...

Forbidden relations with Kuthite women and maidservants, and there are six sections:

(1) If a Jew engages in sexual relations with a female idolater, derech ishut (that is, for the purpose of marriage), or a Jewess engages in sexual relations with a male idolater, that Jew or Jewess is given lashes on a Biblical level. As it is written (Deuteronomy 7:3): "You shall not marry them." (There are those who disagree with this ruling). However, if he engages in sexual relations derech zenut (that is, for licentiousness), casually, he is culpable only on a Rabbinic level for idolatry and for engaging in relations with a prostitute and he is given makat mardut (that is, lashes on a Rabbinic level). And, if he sets her aside for licentious activity, he is culpable on a Rabbinic level for having sexual relations with a nida (that is, menstruant), having sexual relations with a shifcha, (that is, slavewoman), idolatry, and having sexual relations with a prostitute. And, if he is a Kohen (that is, a priest), even if he engages in sexual relations casually, he receives lashes on a Biblical level, as it is written (Leviticus 21:7) ["(A kohen) may not marry a prostitute..."]

(2) A man who has sexual relations with an idol worshiper, if zealots have not killed him and he has not received lashes at the hands of the court, his punishment is explicit in the words of tradition (Prophets), that he receives excision, as is written, “…For Judah has profaned the holiness of God which He loves, and has married the daughter of his strange god. May God cut off the man that does this, he that calls and he that answers…” (Malachi 2:11-12). He shall not have a caller among the wise nor a responder among the students. REMA: This sin has a deficit which is not present among all the other sexual proscriptions, for the son derived from a (Canaanite) female slave or from a Kuthite (non-Jewish) female is not considered his son, as opposed to descendents from other sexually proscribed women (Tur in the name of Rambam). One who has sexual relations with an idol worshiper in public, whose law is that zealots kill him, as will be explained Choshen Mishpat chapter 425, is included in the classification of sexual proscriptions, and the law is that he should permit himself to be killed rather than transgress (Beit Yosef in the name of Orchot Chaim in the name of Rambam) as is the case with other sexual proscriptions and as explained in Yoreh Deah chapter 157.

(3) A maidservant who immersed for the name of slavery, is forbidden to a freed-man, whether it was his or his friend's slave. One who sleeps with her, is liable for Mardut lashes (lashes from the rabbis).

(4) One who is caught with his maidservant, they take her from him, sell her and scatter the money among the poor people and give his lashes, and shave his hair and seclude him for thirty days.

(5) If the child of a Jewish woman was mixed up with the child of a maidservant both of them are questionable and both are possibly slaves and they force the master of the maidservant to free both of them. If one of the babies was the son of the master of the slave, when they get older, they free each other and they are permitted to marry regular Jews.

(6) If the mixture was [of] girls, they are both slavewomen-in-doubt; [if] someone has intercourse with [either] one of them, the [child] born [of that union] is in doubt. Likewise, if the [child] born of an idolator became mixed with the [child] born of an Israelite, we immerse both of them for the sake of conversion, and each one of them is a convert-in-doubt.

(13) But ye shall break down their altars, and dash in pieces their pillars, and ye shall cut down their Asherim. (14) For thou shalt bow down to no other god; for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God; (15) lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go astray after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and they call thee, and thou eat of their sacrifice; (16) and thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go astray after their gods, and make thy sons go astray after their gods.