Avos 1:6 עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב (Copy)

(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:

Pirkei Avot 1:6

(6) Joshua ben Perahiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the oral tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, and acquire for thyself a companion and judge all men with the scale weighted in his favor.

ברטנורא על משנה אבות א׳:ו׳:א׳

עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב. רַמְבַּ"ם פֵּרֵשׁ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינוֹ רָאוּי לִהְיוֹת לְךָ רַב, עֲשֵׂה אוֹתוֹ רַב עָלֶיךָ וְלֹא תִּלְמֹד בֵּינְךָ לְבֵין עַצְמְךָ. וַאֲנִי שָׁמַעְתִּי, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, שֶׁיְּקַבֵּל לוֹ רַב אֶחָד שֶׁיִּלְמֹד מִמֶּנּוּ תָּמִיד, וְלֹא יִלְמֹד הַיּוֹם מֵאֶחָד וּלְמָחָר מִן הָאַחֵר....

Bartenura on Pirkei Avot 1:6:1

"Make for yourself a (Torah) mentor": Rambam explained, “Even though he is not fit to be your teacher, make him into your teacher and do not learn on your own.” And I heard, “'Make for yourself a teacher,' [meaning] that he should take on one teacher from which always to learn – and not learn from one today and from another one tomorrow." And even though they stated in tractate Avodah Zara 19, “One who learns from [only] one teacher will not see a sign of blessing;” they have already explained and said, “this applies to reasoning” - as it is good for him to hear the reasoning of the many - “but with concern to [memorization of traditional teachings], it is better from one teacher, so that [the student's] elocution not be damaged."

יכין אבות א׳:כ״ז:א׳

עשה לך רב
...[ואפשר עוד שלהכי קאמר לך, ולא מלת בעירך. לומר שכל הדברים שתשמע שידרוש הרב בקהל, תחשוב כי לך נוגעים הדברים. מיהו לא קאמר קנה לך רב כדקאמר בחבר. מדאסור ללמד תורה בשכר [כנדרים ל"ז א']. וההספקה שיתנו להרב. אינו לשכר, רק כדי שיהיה לבו פנוי לתורה [י"ד רמ"ו, סכ"א]:

Yachin on Pirkei Avot 1:27:1

...

מכות י׳ א:י׳

תָּנָא: תַּלְמִיד שֶׁגָּלָה – מַגְּלִין רַבּוֹ עִמּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וָחַי״ – עֲבֵיד לֵיהּ מִידֵּי דְּתֶהְוֵי לֵיהּ חִיּוּתָא. אָמַר רַבִּי זְעֵירָא: מִכָּאן שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁנֶה אָדָם לְתַלְמִיד שֶׁאֵינוֹ הָגוּן.

Makkot 10a:10

The Sages taught: In the case of a student who was exiled, his teacher is exiled to the city of refuge with him, so that the student can continue studying Torah with him there, as it is stated: “And he shall flee to one of these cities and live,” from which it is derived: Perform some actions for the unintentional murderer so that life in the city will be conducive to living for him. Since Torah study is an integral component of his life, arrangements must be made to ensure continuity in that facet of his existence. Rabbi Zeira says: From here one learns that a person should not teach a student who is not fit, as that may result in the teacher following the student into exile.

משנה תורה, הלכות רוצח ושמירת נפש ז׳:א׳

(א) תַּלְמִיד שֶׁגָּלָה לְעָרֵי מִקְלָט מַגְלִין רַבּוֹ עִמּוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "וָחָי"... עֲשֵׂה לוֹ כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּחְיֶה. וְחַיֵּי בַּעֲלֵי חָכְמָה וּמְבַקְּשֶׁיהָ בְּלֹא תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה כְּמִיתָה חֲשׁוּבִין. וְכֵן הָרַב שֶׁגָּלָה מַגְלִין יְשִׁיבָתוֹ עִמּוֹ:

Mishneh Torah, Murderer and the Preservation of Life 7:1

(1) When a Torah scholar is exiled to a city of refuge, his teacher is exiled together with him. This is derived from Deuteronomy 19:5, which states: "He shall flee to one of these cities, and he shall live." Implied, is that everything necessary for his life must be provided for him. Therefore, a scholar must be provided with his teacher, for the life of one who possesses knowledge without Torah study is considered to be death. Similarly, if a teacher is exiled, his academy is exiled with him.

חזון אי"ש, קובץ אגרות, חלק ג', אגרת צ"ב

"השיטה לעשות את התורה לחלקים שונים, הוראה באיסור והיתר - חלק א', והוראה בשוק החיים - חלק שני, להיות נכנעים להוראת חכמי הדור בחלק הראשון ולהשאיר לחופש בחירתם בחלק השני, היא השיטה הישנה של המינים בירידת היהדות באשכנז, אשר הדיחו את עם ישראל עד שיתערב בגויים ולא נשארו לפלטה".

ברכות ח׳ א:כ״ב-כ״ד

וְאָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַמֵּי מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּעוּלָּא: לְעוֹלָם יָדוּר אָדָם בִּמְקוֹם רַבּוֹ, שֶׁכָּל זְמַן שֶׁשִּׁמְעִי בֶּן גֵּרָא קַיָּים, לֹא נָשָׂא שְׁלֹמֹה אֶת בַּת פַּרְעֹה. וְהָתַנְיָא אַל יָדוּר! לָא קַשְׁיָא, הָא דִּכְיִיף לֵיהּ, הָא דְּלָא כְּיִיף לֵיהּ.

Berakhot 8a:22-24

And Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Ami said in the name of Ulla: One should always live in the place where his teacher lives; thereby he will avoid sin. For as long as Shimi ben Gera, who according to tradition was a great Torah scholar and teacher of Solomon (see Gittin 59a), was alive, Solomon did not marry Pharaoh’s daughter. Immediately after the Bible relates the death of Shimi (I Kings, end of ch. 2), Solomon’s marriage to Pharaoh’s daughter is recorded (beginning of ch. 3). The Gemara raises an objection: Wasn’t it taught in a baraita that one should not live where his teacher lives? The Gemara answers: This is not difficult. This, which says that one should live where his teacher lives, is referring to a case where he is acquiescent to his teacher and will heed his teaching and instruction. While this baraita, which says that one should not live where his teacher lives, is referring to a case where he is not acquiescent to him and that will lead them to quarrel.

קידושין ס״ו א:ט׳-י״ב

הָיָה שָׁם זָקֵן אֶחָד וִיהוּדָה בֶּן גְּדִידְיָה שְׁמוֹ, וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוּדָה בֶּן גְּדִידְיָה לְיַנַּאי הַמֶּלֶךְ: יַנַּאי הַמֶּלֶךְ! רַב לְךָ כֶּתֶר מַלְכוּת, הַנַּח כֶּתֶר כְּהוּנָּה לְזַרְעוֹ שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן. שֶׁהָיוּ אוֹמְרִים: אִמּוֹ נִשְׁבֵּית בְּמוֹדִיעִים. וַיְבוּקַּשׁ הַדָּבָר וְלֹא נִמְצָא. וַיִּבָּדְלוּ חַכְמֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּזַעַם.

וַיֹּאמֶר אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן פּוֹעֵירָה לְיַנַּאי הַמֶּלֶךְ: יַנַּאי הַמֶּלֶךְ, הֶדְיוֹט שֶׁבְּיִשְׂרָאֵל כָּךְ הוּא דִּינוֹ, וְאַתָּה מֶלֶךְ וְכֹהֵן גָּדוֹל כָּךְ הוּא דִּינָךְ? וּמָה אֶעֱשֶׂה? אִם אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ לַעֲצָתִי: רוֹמְסֵם. וְתוֹרָה מָה תְּהֵא עָלֶיהָ? הֲרֵי כְּרוּכָה וּמוּנַּחַת בְּקֶרֶן זָוִית, כָּל הָרוֹצֶה לִלְמוֹד יָבוֹא וְיִלְמוֹד.

אָמַר רַב נַחְמָן בַּר יִצְחָק: מִיָּד נִזְרְקָה בּוֹ מִינוּת, דַּהֲוָה לֵיהּ לְמֵימַר: תִּינַח תּוֹרָה שֶׁבִּכְתָב, תּוֹרָה שֶׁבְּעַל פֶּה מַאי? מִיָּד: וַתּוּצַץ הָרָעָה עַל יְדֵי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן פּוֹעֵירָה, וַיֵּהָרְגוּ כׇּל חַכְמֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְהָיָה הָעוֹלָם מִשְׁתּוֹמֵם, עַד שֶׁבָּא שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן שָׁטַח וְהֶחְזִיר אֶת הַתּוֹרָה לְיוֹשְׁנָהּ.

Kiddushin 66a:9-12

And there was one person present, a scoffer, a man of an evil heart and a scoundrel called Elazar ben Po’ira. And Elazar ben Po’ira said to King Yannai: King Yannai, the hearts of the Pharisees, the Sages, are against you. In other words, they harbor secret resentment against you and do not like you. The king replied: And what shall I do to clarify this matter? Elazar responded: Have them stand by wearing the frontplate between your eyes. Since the frontplate bears the Divine Name, they should stand in its honor. Yannai, who was a member of the priestly Hasmonean family, also served as High Priest, who wears the frontplate. He had the Pharisees stand by wearing the frontplate between his eyes. Now there was a certain elder present called Yehuda ben Gedidya, and Yehuda ben Gedidya said to King Yannai: King Yannai, the crown of the monarchy suffices for you, i.e., you should be satisfied that you are king. Leave the crown of the priesthood for the descendants of Aaron. The Gemara explains this last comment: As they would say that Yannai’s mother was taken captive in Modi’in, and she was therefore disqualified from marrying into the priesthood, which meant that Yannai was a ḥalal. And the matter was investigated and was not discovered, i.e., they sought witnesses for that event but none were found. And the Sages of Israel were expelled in the king’s rage, due to this rumor. And Elazar ben Po’ira said to King Yannai: King Yannai, such is the judgment of a common person in Israel. In other words, merely expelling a slanderer is appropriate if the subject of the slander is a commoner. But you are a king and a High Priest. Is this your judgment as well? Yannai replied: And what should I do? Elazar responded: If you listen to my advice, crush them. Yannai countered: But what will become of the Torah? He retorted: Behold, it is wrapped and placed in the corner. Anyone who wishes to study can come and study. We have no need for the Sages. The Gemara interjects: Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak says: Immediately, heresy was injected into Yannai, as he should have said to Elazar ben Po’ira: This works out well with regard to the Written Torah, as it can be studied by all on their own, but what will become of the Oral Torah? The Oral Torah is transmitted only by the Sages. The baraita continues: Immediately, the evil arose and caught fire through Elazar ben Po’ira, and all the Sages of the Jewish people were killed. And the world was desolate of Torah until Shimon ben Shataḥ came and restored the Torah to its former glory. This completes the baraita.

רבינו יונה על פרקי אבות א׳:ו׳:ג׳

וקנה לך חבר. לשלשה דברי' אדם צריך אל החבר הטוב. האחד לדברי תורה כמו שאמר הרבה למדתי מרבותי ומחברי יותר מרבותי. והשני למצות שאף כשאין חבירו חסיד ממנו ופעמים שגם הוא עושה אשר לא כדת. כשהוא נהנה בדבר עושה העבירה. אבל אין חפצו ורצונו שחברו יעשנה כי אין לו הנאה בזה וכמו שאמרו (קדושין סג:) ואין אדם חוטא ולא לו. נמצאו שניהם חוזרין בתשובה כל אחד על פי חברו. והשלישי לענין העצה שיקחנו להיות לו מעיר לעזור בכל ענינו ולקחת ממנו עצה טובה ולהיות בן סודו אחר היותו עמו בברית ולא יגלנו לאחרים לבל יפרו מחשבתו...

Rabbeinu Yonah on Pirkei Avot 1:6:3

"acquire for yourself a friend": A person needs three things from a good friend. One is for words of Torah, as it stated (Taanit 7a), "I have learned much from my teachers and more from my friends than from my teachers." And the second is for commandments. As even if his friend is not more pious than he and there are times that he does what is not in order. [Yet it is only] when he derives pleasure from something that he does the sin, but it is not his desire and his will that his friend do it - as he derives no enjoyment from this. And it is like they said (Kiddushin 63b), "And a man will not sin if it is not for himself." It comes out that both of them will repent, each one according to the word of his friend. And the third is regarding advice that he can take, that he be 'one who arouses (a counselor) for help' in all of his affairs and to take good counsel from him and to be his confidant. Since he is his ally, he will not reveal [his secrets] to others so as not to confound his plan - and not even to those that appear to him to be friends; for is the appearance of love evident on their faces? And about this Shlomo, peace be upon him, stated (Proverbs 15:22), "Plans are foiled for want of counsel, but they succeed through many advisers." And that which he said, "acquire for yourself a friend" with an expression of [acquisition] (euphemism) is [to say] that if he does not find him for free, he should acquire him with his money and expend his assets in order to get to a good friend; or that he should acquire him with words of appeasement and with a soft way of talking. And [so] he should not be exacting about his words and he should tolerate the words of his mouth; even when he says something against him, he should not return a response. As without this, he will not keep [the friendship], since the opinions [of people] are different. And sometimes he will seek something, [but] his friend who is like himself will say, "See, I do not [consider] this to be fit." And if he doesn't [listen to his friend] (he will certainly pass him up), the [friendship] will unravel. And this is what Shlomo, peace be upon him, stated (Proverbs 17:9), "He who seeks love covers errors, but he who harps on a matter alienates a leader." He meant to say, one who covers when his friend errs, seeks love - as through this, their love is preserved, as he tolerates his errors. But if he harps about the matter with his friend, he speaks against him and repeats it and says, "See what this one said; what he said about me, he 'alienates the leader' - he(certainly) alienates his leader from him, meaning to say, his friend.

בבא מציעא פ״ד א:ט״ז-י״ח

נָח נַפְשֵׁיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ, וַהֲוָה קָא מִצְטַעַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בָּתְרֵיהּ טוּבָא.

אֲמַרוּ רַבָּנַן: מַאן לֵיזִיל לְיַתֹּבֵיהּ לְדַעְתֵּיהּ? נֵיזִיל רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן פְּדָת, דִּמְחַדְּדָין שְׁמַעְתָּתֵיהּ.

אֲזַל יְתֵיב קַמֵּיהּ. כֹּל מִילְּתָא דַּהֲוָה אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אֲמַר לֵיהּ: תַּנְיָא דִּמְסַיְּיעָא לָךְ. אֲמַר: אַתְּ כְּבַר לְקִישָׁא?! בַּר לְקִישָׁא, כִּי הֲוָה אָמֵינָא מִילְּתָא, הֲוָה מַקְשֵׁי לִי עֶשְׂרִין וְאַרְבַּע קוּשְׁיָיתָא, וּמְפָרְקִינָא לֵיהּ עֶשְׂרִין וְאַרְבְּעָה פֵּרוּקֵי, וּמִמֵּילָא רָוְוחָא שְׁמַעְתָּא. וְאַתְּ אָמְרַתְּ: ״תַּנְיָא דִּמְסַיַּיע לָךְ״, אַטּוּ לָא יָדַעְנָא דְּשַׁפִּיר קָאָמֵינָא?

הֲוָה קָא אָזֵיל וְקָרַע מָאנֵיהּ וְקָא בָכֵי וְאָמַר: ״הֵיכָא אַתְּ בַּר לָקִישָׁא, הֵיכָא אַתְּ בַּר לָקִישָׁא״! וַהֲוָה קָא צָוַח עַד דְּשָׁף דַּעְתֵּיהּ מִינֵּיהּ. בְּעוֹ רַבָּנַן רַחֲמֵי עֲלֵיהּ וְנָח נַפְשֵׁיהּ.

Bava Metzia 84a:16-18

Ultimately, Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish, Reish Lakish, died. Rabbi Yoḥanan was sorely pained over losing him. The Rabbis said: Who will go to calm Rabbi Yoḥanan’s mind and comfort him over his loss? They said: Let Rabbi Elazar ben Pedat go, as his statements are sharp, i.e., he is clever and will be able to serve as a substitute for Reish Lakish. Rabbi Elazar ben Pedat went and sat before Rabbi Yoḥanan. With regard to every matter that Rabbi Yoḥanan would say, Rabbi Elazar ben Pedat would say to him: There is a ruling which is taught in a baraita that supports your opinion. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Are you comparable to the son of Lakish? In my discussions with the son of Lakish, when I would state a matter, he would raise twenty-four difficulties against me in an attempt to disprove my claim, and I would answer him with twenty-four answers, and the halakha by itself would become broadened and clarified. And yet you say to me: There is a ruling which is taught in a baraita that supports your opinion. Do I not know that what I say is good? Being rebutted by Reish Lakish served a purpose; your bringing proof to my statements does not. Rabbi Yoḥanan went around, rending his clothing, weeping and saying: Where are you, son of Lakish? Where are you, son of Lakish? Rabbi Yoḥanan screamed until his mind was taken from him, i.e., he went insane. The Rabbis prayed and requested for God to have mercy on him and take his soul, and Rabbi Yoḥanan died.

ברכות ה׳ ב:ט׳

וְהָא אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן, דֵּין גַּרְמָא דַּעֲשִׂירָאָה בִּיר

Berakhot 5b:9

The Gemara continues to object: And suffering due to children is not an affliction of love? The Gemara clarifies: What are the circumstances? If you say that he had children and they died, didn’t Rabbi Yoḥanan himself say, while consoling the victim of a catastrophe: This is the bone of my tenth son? Rabbi Yoḥanan experienced the death of ten of his children, and he kept a small bone from his tenth child as a painful memorial. He would show that bone to others in order to console them, and since he showed it to them, the deaths of his children must certainly have been affliction of love. He consoled others by displaying that there is an element of intimacy with God that exists in that suffering (Tosafot). Why, then, would Rabbi Yoḥanan have said that suffering due to children is not afflictions of love? Rather, one must conclude that when Rabbi Yoḥanan said that those afflictions are not afflictions of love, he was speaking with regard to one who has no children, and when one had children who died, this could very well be considered afflictions of love.

תוספות על ברכות ה׳ ב:ט׳:א׳

והאמר רבי יוחנן דין גרמא דעשיראה ביר...ונראה לפרש דהכי פריך והאמר ר' יוחנן דין גרמא וכו' אלמא מדהוה רגיל לנחם אחרים בכך

Tosafot on Berakhot 5b:9:1

...

בבא בתרא ט״ז ב:ה׳

אָמַר רָבָא: הַיְינוּ דְּאָמְרִי אִינָשֵׁי: אוֹ חַבְרָא כְּחַבְרֵי דְּאִיּוֹב, אוֹ מִיתוּתָא.

Bava Batra 16b:5

The Gemara asks: How did they all know at the same time what had happened to Job so that the three of them came together? There are those who say that they each had a crown which displayed certain signs when something happened to one of the others. And there are those who say they each had trees and when the trees withered they knew that sorrow had visited one of them. Rava said that this closeness between Job and his friends explains the adage that people say: Either a friend like the friends of Job or death. If a person lacks close friends, he is better off dead.

רש"י על בבא בתרא ט״ז ב:ה׳:ג׳

או חברא כחברי דאיוב - אם אין לו לאדם אוהבים נוח לו שימות:

Rashi on Bava Batra 16b:5:3

...

איוב ב׳:ג׳-ו׳

(ג) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶל־הַשָּׂטָ֗ן הֲשַׂ֣מְתָּ לִבְּךָ֮ אֶל־עַבְדִּ֣י אִיּוֹב֒ כִּי֩ אֵ֨ין כָּמֹ֜הוּ בָּאָ֗רֶץ אִ֣ישׁ תָּ֧ם וְיָשָׁ֛ר יְרֵ֥א אֱלֹהִ֖ים וְסָ֣ר מֵרָ֑ע וְעֹדֶ֙נּוּ֙ מַחֲזִ֣יק בְּתֻמָּת֔וֹ וַתְּסִיתֵ֥נִי ב֖וֹ לְבַלְּע֥וֹ חִנָּֽם׃ (ד) וַיַּ֧עַן הַשָּׂטָ֛ן אֶת־יְהֹוָ֖ה וַיֹּאמַ֑ר ע֣וֹר בְּעַד־ע֗וֹר וְכֹל֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לָאִ֔ישׁ יִתֵּ֖ן בְּעַ֥ד נַפְשֽׁוֹ׃ (ה) אוּלָם֙ שְֽׁלַֽח־נָ֣א יָֽדְךָ֔ וְגַ֥ע אֶל־עַצְמ֖וֹ וְאֶל־בְּשָׂר֑וֹ אִם־לֹ֥א אֶל־פָּנֶ֖יךָ יְבָרְכֶֽךָּ׃ (ו) וַיֹּ֧אמֶר יְהֹוָ֛ה אֶל־הַשָּׂטָ֖ן הִנּ֣וֹ בְיָדֶ֑ךָ אַ֖ךְ אֶת־נַפְשׁ֥וֹ שְׁמֹֽר׃

Job 2:3-6

(3) The LORD said to the Adversary, “Have you noticed My servant Job? There is no one like him on earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and shuns evil. He still keeps his integrity; so you have incited Me against him to destroy him for no good reason.” (4) The Adversary answered the LORD, aApparently a proverb whose meaning is uncertain.“Skin for skin-a—all that a man has he will give up for his life. (5) But lay a hand on his bones and his flesh, and he will surely blaspheme You to Your face.” (6) So the LORD said to the Adversary, “See, he is in your power; only spare his life.”

ברטנורא על משנה אבות א׳:ו׳:ג׳

וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת. כְּשֶׁהַדָּבָר בְּכַף מֹאזְנַיִם וְאֵין לוֹ הֶכְרֵעַ לְכָאן וּלְכָאן, כְּגוֹן אָדָם שֶׁאֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים מִמַּעֲשָׂיו אִם צַדִּיק אִם רָשָׁע וְעָשָׂה מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לְדוּנוֹ לִזְכוּת וְאֶפְשָׁר לְדוּנוֹ לְחוֹבָה, מִדַּת חֲסִידוּת הִיא לְדוּנוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת. אֲבָל אָדָם שֶׁהֻחְזַק בְּרָשָׁע, מֻתָּר לְדוּנוֹ לְחוֹבָה, שֶׁלֹּא אָמְרוּ אֶלָּא הַחוֹשֵׁד בִּכְשֵׁרִים לוֹקֶה בְּגוּפוֹ (שבת צז.), מִכְּלָל שֶׁהַחוֹשֵׁד בִּרְשָׁעִים אֵינוֹ לוֹקֶה:

Bartenura on Pirkei Avot 1:6:3

"and judge every person as meritorious": when the matter is hanging in the balance and there is no way to decide it in this way or that way. For example, a man from whose actions we do not know if he is righteous or wicked, who preforms an act that is possible to judge favorably and possible to judge unfavorably, it is pious to judge him favorably. But it is permissible to judge a man who is established to be evil unfavorably. As they only stated (Shabbat 97), “one who suspects righteous people is afflicted on his body” - [and so] it is implied [from this] that one who suspects evildoers is not afflicted.

יכין אבות א׳:כ״ט:א׳

והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות
ומכ"ש לרבך וחבירך, שכשלא תדונם לכף זכות לא תרוויח מהם כלום:

Yachin on Pirkei Avot 1:29:1

...

נחלת אבות על אבות א׳:ו׳:ו׳

ואמנם אמרו אחרי זה "והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות". יראה שאין לו ענין בזה, אבל טעמו הוא שכאשר יבחר ברב אחד ובחבר אחד לישא וליתן עמו, שלא ישים פגם בשאר הרבנים ולא בשאר החברים, כי את כולם ידין לכף זכות, ויהיו בעניו כזכאין וכצדיקים.

Nachalat Avot on Avot 1:6:6

...

שמירת הלשון, חלק ראשון, שער התבונה ד׳

(א) בּוֹ יְבֹאַר גֹּדֶל מַעֲלָתוֹ שֶׁל הָאָדָם הַדָּן אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת.

(ב) גַּם יַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמוֹ לָדוּן אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲזַ"ל (שבועות ל.) (ויקרא י"ט ט"ו): "בְּצֶדֶק תִּשְׁפֹּט עֲמִיתֶךָ" (סַנְהֶדְרִין ל"ב) "הֱוֵי דָּן אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ לְכַף זְכוּת". וְהוּא אֶחָד מֵהַדְּבָרִים שֶׁאָדָם אוֹכֵל פֵּרוֹתֵיהֶן בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, וְהַקְּרֶן קַיֶּמֶת לוֹ לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ בְּשַׁבָּת (קכ"ז.).

(ה) וְהִנֵּה לְפִי רֹב הֶרְגֵּלוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם בְּמִדָּה זוֹ, כֵּן נֶגֶד זֶה יִתְמַעֵט מִמֶּנּוּ עֲוֹן לָשׁוֹן הָרָע. וְהִנֵּה מַה מְּאֹד צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְחַזֵּק אֶת עַצְמוֹ בְּמִדָּה זוֹ לָדוּן אֶת כָּל אָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת, כִּי עַל יְדֵי מִדָּה זוֹ דְּכַף זְכוּת וְכֵן לְהֶפֶךְ, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, נָקֵל לְהָאָדָם לְהַעֲלוֹת עַל עַצְמוֹ שֵׁם צַדִּיק אוֹ רָשָׁע לְעוֹלָם, כִּי יָדוּעַ הוּא דְּחוֹבָתוֹ שֶׁל הָאָדָם וּזְכוּתוֹ תְּלוּיִים לְפִי רֹב הַמִּצְוֹת וְהָעֲוֹנוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּיָדוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲזַ"ל בְּכַמָּה מְקוֹמוֹת, אִם רֹב מִצְוֹת הוּא בְּגֶדֶר צַדִיק, וְאִם רֹב עֲוֹנוֹת הוּא בְּגֶדֶר רָשָׁע, וְאָמְרוּ חֲזַ"ל (ראש השנה ט"ז:): שְׁלֹשָה סְפָרִים נִפְתָּחִין לְיוֹם הַדִּין, (הַיְנוּ יוֹם הַדִּין הַגָּדוֹל בְּעֵת הַתְּחִיָּה, כְּפֵרוּשׁ רַשִּׁ"י שָׁם) צַדִּיקַים גְּמוּרִין נִכְתָּבִין וְנֶחְתָּמִין לְאַלְתַּר לְחַיֵּי עוֹלָם, רְשָׁעִים גְּמוּרִים, (הַיְנוּ רֹב עֲוֹנוֹת, כְּפֵרוּשׁ רַשִּׁ"י שָׁם), נִכְתָּבִין וְנֶחְתָּמִים לְאַלְתַּר לַגֵּיהִנֹּם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וְכוּ', בֵּינוֹנִים וְכוּ'.

וְהִנֵּה יָדוּעַ הוּא דִּבְעִנְיַן הַזְּכֻיּוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּיַד הָאָדָם, אַף אִם כַּחֹל יִרְבּוּן, אִם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יִתְנַהֵג עִמּוֹ בְּמִדַּת הַדִין הַגְּמוּרָה, לֹא יִשָׁאֲרוּ בְּיָדוֹ, כִּי אִם מְעַט מִזְּעֵיר, כִּי כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה מֵהֶן לֹא הִשְׁלִים לַעֲשׂוֹת אוֹתָן בְּכָל פְּרָטֵיהֶן וְאָפְנֵיהֶן הַנְּאוֹתִין לְאוֹתָהּ מִצְוָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ אוֹתָן שֶׁהִשְׁלִימָן כַּדִּין, לֹא הָיוּ בְּאַהֲבָה וּבְיִרְאָה וּבְשִׂמְחָה הָרָאוּי לַעֲשִׂיַּת הַמִּצְוָה. כְּלָלוֹ שֶׁל דָּבָר, אִם יְדַקְדֵּק הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אַחַר עֲשִׂיַּת מִצְוֹתָיו, יִמָּצְאוּ רֻבָּן בַּעֲלֵי מוּמִין, וְהַמִּצְוֹת שֶׁיִּשָׁאֲרוּ לוֹ יִהְיוּ מִעוּטָא דְּמִעוּטָא נֶגֶד הָעֲוֹנוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ, וְיִקָּרֵא עַל הָאָדָם עֲבוּר זֶה שֵׁם רָשָׁע לְעוֹלָם.

אֲבָל אִם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יִתְנַהֵג עִמּוֹ בְּמִדַּת הָרַחֲמִים וִיחַפֵּשׂ עָלָיו זְכוּת בְּכָל עִנְיָנָיו, יִשָּׁאֲרוּ זְכֻיּוֹתָיו עַל מְכוֹנָן. וְיוֹתֵר מִזֶּה, שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ אִם נִמְנוּ מַעֲשָׂיו וְנִמְצָא שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ רֹב עֲוֹנוֹת, אִם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יִתְנַהֵג עִמּוֹ בְּמִדַּת הָרַחֲמִים הַגְּמוּרָה יִתְמַעֲטוּ מִנְיָנָן. כִּי בְּוַדַּאי יִמָּצְאוּ כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה מֵהָעֲוֹנוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לְחַפּוֹת עָלָיו שֶׁעָשָׂה אוֹתָן בִּשְׁגָגָה אוֹ בְּסִבָּה אַחֶרֶת. כְּלָלוֹ שֶׁל דָּבָר אִם יִרְצֶה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְחַפֵּשׂ זְכוּת עַל הָאָדָם לֹא יִבָּצֵר מִמֶּנּוּ. וּמִמֵּילָא אִם יִתְמַעֲטוּ מִקְּצַת עֲוֹנוֹתָיו תַּכְרִיעַ כַּף הַזְּכוּת, וְיִקָּרֵא עָלָיו שֵׁם צַדִּיק לְעוֹלָם.

(ו) וְהִנֵּה כָּל זֶה תָּלוּי לְפִי הַהַנְהָגָה שֶׁהִנְהִיג אֶת עַצְמוֹ בִּימֵי חַיָּיו עִם הַבְּרִיּוֹת. אִם דַּרְכּוֹ הָיְתָה לָדוּן אוֹתָם לְכַף זְכוּת, דָּנִין אוֹתוֹ גַּם כֵּן לִזְכוּת, כִּדְאִיתָא בְּשַׁבָּת קכז. וְאִם דַּרְכּוֹ הָיְתָה לְלַמֵּד חוֹבָה עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת וּלְדַבֵּר עֲלֵיהֶם רַע, גַּם מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת מְדַבְּרִים עָלָיו רַע לְמַעְלָה, כִּדְאִיתָא בְּמִדְרַשׁ מִשְׁלֵי. עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ שֶׁיֵּדַע הָאָדָם בְּנַפְשׁוֹ בְּעוֹדוֹ בַּחַיִּים, כִּי בְּעֵת שֶׁהוּא דָּן אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ, בֵּין לְטַב בֵּין לְמוּטָב, אָז בְּדִבּוּרָיו מַמָּשׁ הוּא מְסַדֵּר דִּין לְעַצְמוֹ.

Shemirat HaLashon, Book I, The Gate of Discerning 4

(1) In this chapter there will be explained the merit of one who judges his friend in the scales of merit.

(2) One should also accustom himself to judge his friend in the scales of merit, as Chazal have said (Shevuoth 30a): "(Vayikra 19:15): 'In righteousness shall you judge your friend' — Judge your friend in the scales of merit." And this is one of the things for which one eats the fruits in this world, with the principal remaining for the world to come, as they said in Shabbath 127a.

(3) The idea of "the scales of merit" is either to side with the one who is reported to have done or said something, i.e., to say that the din is with him, or to say that he was unwitting in what he did or said, or that he did not know the severity of the issur, or, even if none of the above possibilities apply, to think that perhaps the speaker left out a certain detail or added a small detail, which slanted the report in his disfavor. And Chazal have stated as a principle (Avoth 2:4): "Do not judge your friend until you find yourself in his place."

(4) Come see the episode in Shabbath 127b, from which the just man may learn that one must judge his friend in the scales of merit, even if the premise of the merit is farther [from reality than that of liability]: "The Rabbis taught: If one judges his friend in the scales of merit, he, too, will be judged in the scales of merit. Once, a man from upper Galilee went and hired himself out to a man in the south for three years. On Yom Kippur eve, he said: "Give me my wages so that I can go and feed my wife and children." The employer: "I have none." The worker: "Give me land." The employer: "I have none." The worker: "Give me mattresses and pillows." The employer: "I have none." The worker slung his belongings on his back and went home dejected. After the festival, the employer took his [the worker's] wages along with three asses, one laden with food, one with [containers of] drink, and one with all manner of clothing, and he went to the worker's house. After they had eaten and drunk, and he had given the worker his wages, he asked him: "When you asked me for your wages and I told you that I had no money, what did you suspect me of?" The worker: "I thought that a 'good buy' had come your way and that you had used your money for that." The employer: "When you asked me for the animals and I told you that I had none, what did you suspect me of?" The worker: "I thought that you might have hired them out to others." The employer: "When you asked me for land and I told you that I had none, what did you suspect me of?" The worker: "I thought that you might have rented it out to others." The employer: "When I told you that I had no produce, what did you suspect me of?" The worker: "I thought that perhaps you had not tithed it." The employer: "When I told you that I had no mattresses and pillows, what did you suspect me of?" The worker: "I thought that perhaps you had consecrated all of your belongings to Heaven." The employer: "I swear that this is what happened. I vowed [i.e., consecrated to Heaven] all of my possessions because my son Hyrcanus would not study Torah; and when I came to my colleagues in the South, they annulled all of my vows for me. And, as for you, just as you judged me in the scales of merit, may the Holy One Blessed be He judge you in the scales of merit." And there are adduced further instances in the Gemara where the scales of merit are farther [from reality] than those of liability, notwithstanding which they were careful to judge according to the scales of merit.

(5) Now according to the extent of one's habituation to this trait, so will there be diminished from him the sin of lashon hara. How much, then, must a man strengthen himself in this trait, to judge every man in the scales of merit. For on this trait or on the reverse, G-d forbid, can easily depend a man's being called a tzaddik or a rasha [wicked] forever. For it is known that a man's guilt or merit depends upon the majority of his mitzvoth or sins, as Chazal have stated in many places. If the majority [of his deeds] are mitzvoth, he is called a tzaddik; and, if sins, he is called a rasha. And Chazal have said (Rosh Hashanah 16b): "Three books are opened on the day of judgment [(that is the "great" day of judgment at the resurrection [viz. Rashi])]. The absolutely righteous are written down and sealed immediately for eternal life. The absolutely wicked [(that is, those with a majority of sins [viz. Rashi])] are written down and sealed immediately for Gehinnom." Now it is well known that in respect to a man's merits, even if they be as many as the sands [of the sea], if the Holy One Blessed be He conducts Himself with him according to the absolute measure of din [judgment], there will remain with him only a miniscule amount. For with many of them he will not have fulfilled them in all the details and aspects relevant to that mitzvah. And even those he did fulfill thus, would not have been fulfilled with the love and the fear and the joy appropriate for the doing of the mitzvah. In sum, if the Holy One Blessed be He were exacting, G-d forbid, as to the doing of His mitzvoth, most would be found blemished, and the remaining mitzvoth would not constitute a minority of a minority of his sins, and he would be called a rasha for eternity. But if the Holy One Blessed be He conducted Himself with him according to the attribute of mercy, and sought merit for him in all of his acts, his merits would remain intact. More than this, even if his deeds were counted and he were found to have a majority of sins, if the Holy One Blessed be He would conduct Himself with him according to the absolute measure of mercy, his sins would be diminished. For there would certainly be found many sins which could be attenuated because of his having committed them unwittingly, or for some other reason. In sum, if the Holy One Blessed be He wished to seek merit for a person, there would be no hindrance to His doing so, and if, as a result, some of his sins were diminished, the scale of merit would predominate and he would be called a tzaddik for eternity.

(6) Now all of this is dependent on how he has conducted himself all the days of his life with his fellow man. If his way were to judge them in the scales of merit, he, too, will be judged in [the scales of] merit (as in Shabbath 127b above). And if his way were to find guilt in people and to speak evil of them, the ministering angels above will speak evil of him, too, as we find in Midrash Mishlei. Therefore, a man must know in his soul, while he is still alive, that as he judges his friend, whether for good or for bad, by his words themselves he is determining his own judgment.

פניני הלכה, משפחה א׳:י״ז

(א) כיבוד הורים / לדון את ההורים לכף זכות

(ב) שאלה: האם מצוות כיבוד הורים מחייבת גם להעריך את ההורים, או שגם מי שמבזה אותם בליבו, כל עוד הוא עוזר להם במה שיצטרכו, ומתייחס אליהם בנימוס, נחשב כמקיים את המצווה?

(ג) תשובה: מצוות כיבוד הורים צריכה להתקיים במעשה ובמחשבה, וכפי שכתב בספר חרדים, שצריך לכבד את ההורים בלב, ומי שמכבד את הוריו במעשים אבל הם נבזים בעיניו, עליו נאמר (דברים כז, טז): "אָרוּר מַקְלֶה אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ". פירוש 'מקלה' -מבזה. ועל זה אמר שלמה (משלי ל, יז): "עַיִן תִּלְעַג לְאָב וְתָבוּז לִיקֲּהַת אֵם, יִקְּרוּהָ עֹרְבֵי נַחַל וְיֹאכְלוּהָ בְנֵי נָשֶׁר". והיה מעשה באיש אחד שהיה מפרנס את אמו, רק שהיתה בזויה בעיניו, לפי שנישאה לאיש אחר לאחר מות אביו, ונענש שמת וניקרו העורבים את עיניו (ספר חרדים מצוות עשה התלויות בלב אות לה)

(ד) וכן כתב בספר 'חיי-אדם' (סז, ג): "הכיבוד הוא במחשבה ובמעשה ודיבור… היינו שידמה בעיניו שהם גדולים ונכבדי ארץ, אף שבעיני שאר בני אדם אינם חשובים כלל. וזה הוא עיקר כיבוד, שאם לא כן, הרי כתיב (ישעיהו כט, יג): בְּפִיו וּבִשְׂפָתָיו כִּבְּדוּנִי וְלִבּוֹ רִחַק מִמֶּנִּי".

(ה) שאלה: מי שסבור שהוריו כעסנים ורגזנים, או תאבי ממון, או נוטים לשקר, או מקפחים, כיצד יוכל לכבדם במחשבתו? האם מצווה עליו לעשות שקר בנפשו, להתעלם מתכונותיהם הרעות ולתקוע בדעתו כי הם באמת צדיקים וישרים?

(ו) תשובה: מצווה לדון כל אדם לכף זכות (שבועות ל, א), שנאמר (ויקרא יט, טו): "בְּצֶדֶק תִּשְׁפֹּט עֲמִיתֶךָ", וכפי שאמרו חכמים (אבות א, ו): "הוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות". היינו לראות את הטוב שבו, ולדעת שלמרות שיש בו גם רע, הטוב שבו הוא העיקר. וגם כאשר אפשר לפרש מקרה מסוים לטוב או לרע, מצווה לפרש אותו לטוב. ובזכות זה, גם אותו ידונו לטוב בשמיים, שהואיל והוא מדגיש את הטוב ורואה אותו כעיקר, גם כשידונו אותו יראו בעיקר את הטוב שבו (שבת קכז, ב). ואם כך כלפי כל יהודי, על אחת כמה וכמה שצריך אדם לדון את הוריו לכף זכות, שכן גם מצוות כיבוד הורים מחייבת זאת.

(ח) אמנם כאשר ברור שיש בהורים עוון, אסור לבן להתעלם מכך, ואם יאמרו לו ההורים לעבור עבירה, לא ישמע להם (להלן הלכה כ). ולמרות זאת, עליו לדון אותם לכף זכות, שהפגמים שיש במידותיהם ומעשיהם הם מפני שלא למדו מספיק, או מפני הקשיים הנפשיים או הגופניים שלהם, ואולי הניסיונות שהם מתמודדים איתם קשים מנשוא.

(ט) ומאידך יתבונן בצדדים החיוביים שבהורים, שהרי בכל אדם יש מידה טובה מיוחדת, שבה אין אדם בעולם כמותו. שאם היה אדם אחר כמותו, לא היה הקב"ה בוראו לחינם. ובאותו דבר שהוא מיוחד בו, הוא נחשב ממש לגדול הדור, שעליו כל העולם עומד. וצריך כל אדם להתבונן ולהתעמק בכל הצדדים הטובים שבאביו ובאמו, ועל ידי כך יוכל לכבדם ביותר.

Peninei Halakhah, Family 1:17

...