What's a Pidyon Haben?

An Introduction

Charlie tugged at Mama’s skirt. “Now can I see the pigeon?” he asked loudly.

They all stopped to listen to Charlie’s strange request. “Pigeon,” Mama repeated, puzzled. “What pigeon?”

Charlie explained patiently. “You said we were going to a party and there’s a pigeon and his name is Ben. I don’ see no pigeon.”

All-of-a-Kind Family Uptown, by Sydney Taylor, p. 95-96

A Second Introduction (From WWII)

During WWII the Jewish Welfare Board for the military created the Committee of Army and Navy Religious Activities. This was a rabbinical group with equal representation from Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform rabbis. They received religious questions from Jewish military chaplains and they had to come up with consensus responses, which they did. The collection of WWII Responsa can be found here: https://www.sefaria.org/Collected_Responsa_in_Wartime?tab=contents. You can learn more about the group here: https://archives.cjh.org/repositories/3/resources/1655

What is a Pidyon Haben?

A Pidyon Haben is a Jewish ceremony for firstborn male children, “redeeming” them from their Biblical obligations.

Why do we do a Pidyon Haben?

During the tenth plague, the Egyptian firstborn were killed and the Israelites were not. In gratitude for this, when the Israelites left Egypt G-d wanted the firstborn sons to assist the priests. For example, Hannah brought her firstborn son Samuel to assist Eli the priest. This is also connected to the first of everything belonging to G-d (animals, fruit, bread, crops, etc.). Then, during the Golden Calf incident, most of the people besides the tribe of Levi worshipped an idol within a few weeks of G-d giving them the Ten Commandments. After that, G-d switched to having the Levites help the priests. According to the Torah, G-d put in place a redemption ceremony as a way of having firstborn sons continue to not be on call for assisting the priests.

When does one do a Pidyon Haben?

A Pidyon Haben ceremony is held when the baby boy is 31 days old. This is because many babies didn’t live through their first month. If the 31st day falls on Shabbat or a Festival, then it gets pushed to the next available day. If there is a medical reason to delay beyond the 31st day, then the ceremony is done when the baby is medically ready. If parents didn’t know about the Pidyon Haben ceremony at 31 days, it can be done up to the Bar-Mitzvah ceremony by the parents (and even beyond by the boy himself). For more on the timing of the ceremony, see here: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/kurtz_pidyon.pdf

What do you need for a Pidyon Haben?

You need the baby, a cohen/bat-cohen (an adult Jew whose father was descended from Moses’ brother Aaron), and 5 silver shekels (or 5 silver dollars). Some communities have a set that they use for all occurrences of this ceremony. Unless it’s a fast day or the family is sitting shiva, you also need a meal (the ceremony occurs between Hamotzi and eating the food).

When would you not do a Pidyon Haben?

A Pidyon Haben ceremony happens when the following stars align: 1. First pregnancy (not counting any miscarriages before 40 days of pregnancy) 2. Born through the birth canal 3. Son 4. No grandparent is a Cohen / Bat-Cohen / Levi / Bat-Levi (their father was a direct descendant of Aaron or one of Aaron’s cousins). If any of these are not the case, no ceremony.

What about for girls?

The Torah is pretty clear that the ceremony is about first-born boys once having assisted the priests and now not doing so. So, there’s nothing to be redeeming firstborn girls from. However, the special nature of the first-born daughter ought to be emphasized, just like it is for first-born sons. There are those who say that since a “Simchat Bat” (baby-naming ceremony for girls) doesn’t have to be on the 8th day, it could be on the 31st day for a firstborn girl and the following addition could be added, “ By virtue of the reward due the righteous women of the generation of the Exodus were our ancestors redeemed from Egypt.“ (Exodus Rabba 1:2). This would get at the “redemption” theme of the Pidyon Haben ceremony. To explore thoughts on this subject, see: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/skolnik_firstfemale.pdf. On the other hand, here is a 1976 version of the ceremony which eliminates gender and also the cohen: https://ritualwell.org/ritual/pidyon-ha-bat-ha-ben-redemption-firstborn/ (from Daniel and Myra Leifer).

What happens with conjoined / Siamese twins?

The Talmud actually addresses this question (Menachot 37a:7). It notices that the Torah says that redeeming the first-born son should be “five shekels per head” (Numbers 3:47). Therefore, a set of conjoined / Siamese twins would be 10 shekels, but redeemed at the same time. On the other hand, for regular twins, whether fraternal or identical, only the boy who comes out first needs to be redeemed.

How does the ceremony go?

There is much variation in the ceremony between communities. The key parts are as follows:

1. Establishing that the child is a firstborn.

2. Establishing that the father wishes to redeem the child from the Kohen.

3. The “al pidyon haben” blessing.

4. The “Shehechiyanu” blessing.

5. Blessing the child

6. The “Borei P’ri Hagafen” blessing (may be near or at the very end)

Here is the ceremony as found in the Koren Siddur:

The father, presenting his son to the Kohen, declares:

זֶה בְּנִי בְכוֹרִי הוּא פֶּתֶר רֶחֶם לְאִמוֹ וְהַקָדוֹש‏ בָּרוּךְ הוּא צִוָה לִפְדוֹתוֹ שֶנֶאֱמַר

This is my firstborn son, the first issue of his mother’s womb. The Holy Blessed One has commanded us to redeem him, as it is said:

וּפְדוּיָו֙ מִבֶּן־חֹ֣דֶשׁ תִּפְדֶּ֔ה בְּעֶ֨רְכְּךָ֔ כֶּ֛סֶף חֲמֵ֥שֶׁת שְׁקָלִ֖ים בְּשֶׁ֣קֶל הַקֹּ֑דֶשׁ עֶשְׂרִ֥ים גֵּרָ֖ה הֽוּא׃

Those who are to be redeemed, you must redeem from the age of one month, at the fixed price of five shekels of silver by the sacred standard, which is twenty gerahs to the shekel - Numbers 18:16

וְנֶאֱמַר:

And as it is said:

קַדֶּשׁ־לִ֨י כָל־בְּכ֜וֹר פֶּ֤טֶר כָּל־רֶ֙חֶם֙ בִּבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל בָּאָדָ֖ם וּבַבְּהֵמָ֑ה לִ֖י הֽוּא׃

Consecrate to Me every firstborn; the first of every womb among the people of Israel, whether of human or beast, belongs to Me. - Exodus 13:2

The Kohen checks with the mother that this is her firstborn, and then asks if she has miscarried 41 days or more into a pregnancy before this child. If her answer is yes and then no, the Kohen asks the father:

מַאי בָּעֵית טְפֵי לִתֵן לִי בִּנְךָ בְכוֹרְךָ שֶהוּא פֶּתֶר רֶחֶם לְאִמוֹ אוֹ בָּעֵית לִפְדוֹתוֹ בְּעַד חָמֵש סְלָעִים כְּדִמְחַיַבְתְ מִדְאוֹרַיְתָא

Which do you prefer: to give me your firstborn son, the first birth of his mother, or to redeem him for five selas as you are bound to do according to the Torah?

The father replies:

חָפֵץ אֲנִי לִפְדוֹת אֶת בְּנִי וְהֵילָךְ דְמֵי פִדְיוֹנוֹ כְּדִמְחַיַבְנָא מִדְאוֹרַיְתָא

I wish to redeem my son. I present you with the cost of his redemption which I am bound to give according to the Torah.

Holding the redemption money, the father says:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו. וְצִוָּנוּ עַל פִּדְיוֹן הַבֵּן

Praised are You, L-rd our G‑d, Ruler of the Universe, who has sanctified us with the Divine commandments and commanded us concerning the redemption of a son.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְמַן הַזֶּה

Praised are You, L-rd our G‑d, Ruler of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion.

The redemption money is given to the Kohen, who then returns the child to his father. The Kohen takes a cup of wine or grape juice and says:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Praised are You, L-rd our G‑d, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.

With the Kohen’s right hand on the head of the child, the Kohen blesses him as follows:

יְשִׂימְךָ אֱלהִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה
יְבָרֶכְךָ ה' וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ
יָאֵר ה' פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ
יִשָּׂא ה' פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם
ה' שׁמְרֶךָ ה' צִלּךָ עַל יַד יְמִינֶךָ
ה' יִשְׁמָרְךָ מִכָּל רָע יִשְׁמר אֶת נַפְשֶׁךָ

כִּי אוֹרֶךְ יָמִים וּשְׁנוֹת חַיִּים וְשָׁלוֹם יוֹסִיפוּ לָךְ

May G‑d make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.
May G‑d bless you and guard you.
May G‑d shine the Divine countenance upon you and be gracious to you.
May G‑d turn the Divine countenance towards you and grant you peace.
The Lord is your guardian; the Lord is your protection at your right hand.

The Lord will guard you against all harm, guarding your life.

Length of days, years of life, and peace may G-d increase for you.

A Conclusion

A Modern Equivalent of this WWII Question

In 2023, Israeli Defense Force troops were in Gaza, trying to recover hostages. One of them had had a first-born son a month prior, and he wanted to do a Pidyon Haben ceremony. One of his comrades was a Cohen, so even though the son wasn’t present, they did the ceremony. In fact, the 5 silver shekels weren’t present either (clinking coins could alert Hamas to their presence), so they used tefillin, because as he says in the video, his tefillin cost way more than 5 shekels.

A Second Conclusion

“Pigeon Ben! It does sound like it!” Henny squealed with laughter. “He means the Pidyon Haben. He expected to see a real live pigeon!”

Why was everyone laughing so hard, wondered Charlie. “I wanna see Benny the Pigeon!” insisted Charlie.

Papa swept him up into his arms. “Charlie, what you’re going to see is even better — like a little play. Come, and I’ll explain it to you while we’re watching.” He smiled at Grace. “And to you too, Grace.”

In the parlor, the company had already arranged themselves in a wide circle. A tall, thin man dressed in a frock coat stepped forward. “That’s the Cohen,” Papa told Grace. A Cohen is descended from the tribe of Aaron. Only such a one is allowed to perform this ceremony. In ancient times, the oldest son was required to serve in the Temple. If one wanted to release his son from this service, he had to pay for it. Today the Cohen will act like the High Priest in the Temple of old.”

The room grew quiet. Presently Uncle Hyman appeared from the bedroom. On a cushion in his arms lay the baby, dressed in an exquisitely embroidered white dress. Solemnly he walked to the Cohen and offered the child up to him. He began to recite in Hebrew. Grace turned to Papa inquiringly. In a low whisper, Papa translated. “This, my first born, is the first born of his mother…”

The Cohen took the child from his father. “Which do you prefer,” he asked, “To give my thy first born for God’s service… or to redeem him for five shekels which you are by law required to give?”

Charlie pulled on Papa’s hand. “Papa, why is that man taking the baby from Uncle Hyman?”

“Don’t worry, Charlie. Uncle Hyman’ll get him back.”

Uncle Hyman held up five silver dollars and answered the Cohen. “I prefer to redeem my son. Here is the value… which I am required to pay.”

The Cohen accepted the money and returned the child to Uncle Hyman. Holding the coins over the infant’s head, the Cohen proclaimed, “This in exchange of that… May it be the will of God that… this child may be spared to enter the study of the law, the state of marriage, and the practice of good deeds. Amen!”

Placing his hands upon the baby’s head, he blessed the little one: “The Lord shall guard thee against all evil… Amen!”

“Amen!” answered the guests. “May you have much joy and honor from him!” They crowded around, oohing and ahhing over the baby and showering congratulations on the parents.

As the guests circled about, Uncle Hyman started shooing them toward the dining room. “Let’s go to the table! Let’s go to the table!” he coaxed.

….

Charlie was so tired that Papa had to carry him all the way home. They were just entering the house when the little boy suddenly raised his head. “Papa,” he asked, “doe the Cohen keep all the pigeon money for himself?”

“Oh no, Charlie,” replied Papa. “The Pidyon Haben money goes to charity.”

All-of-a-Kind Family Uptown, by Sydney Taylor, p. 96-99

Epilogue

The Year Mom Got Religion (1999)

By Lee Meyerhoff Hendler

Within eighteen months, Nelson and I had our first child, a son whom we named Sam. At Nelson’s insistence, Sam was circumcised while still in the hospital. We held a ceremonial bris in our home eight days after his birth. Dr. Lou Kaplan officiated. A few weeks later, Lou asked me when we were having Sam’s Pidyon Haben ​​​​​​. “His pidyon what?” I asked.

Lou described an arcane ritual that acknowledged God’s claim on the first-born Jewish son. Like the first fruits and the first animal offspring that we were obligated to sacrifice, we were supposed to give our first-born male child to God. Of course, we Jews had done away with human sacrifice long ago, so a financial transaction has been created to substitute for the sacrifice.

”Say that again, Lou,” I said. “We give you the money. Then we give you the kid. Then we buy him back from you? What for?” Even after he explained that it’s a way of acknowledging that everything we have is on loan from God, I still didn’t understand it. I simply had no context for making sense of symbolic religious ritual.

“We’ll do it if you say we have to, Lou. But I still don’t get it.”

”Most people don’t, darling, but you do have to do it. It’s important.” I didn’t hesitate when Lou said we had to do something Jewish. I trusted him to keep us on the straight and narrow even if I didn’t know exactly where the path was going.

p. 34

Appendix A: The Observant Life

The ceremony of redeeming a firstborn son, called pidyon habein, is one of the least understood rites of passage in Judaism, yet it can nevertheless be used creatively to strength the family ties and the emotional bond to Jewish tradition of those who participate in it. (The name of the ceremony is usually pronounced pidyon ha-ben by English-speaking Jews.)

The ceremony has its roots in the ancient custom of dedicating the male firstborn of an Israelite family to priestly service. Later, however, the tribe of Levi was singled out for this hours instead, perhaps as a reward for their singular faithfulness during the incident of the Golden Calf. The language of Scripure makes this explicit: “For I now take the tribe of Levi to My service in place of the firstborn of Israel” (Numbers 3:41). None pre-selected for divine service may so simply be decommissioned, however, and the commandment of Scripture speaks directly to this point by requiring that every firstborn son be formally redeemed from divine service. This too is made explicit: “You must surely redeem every firstborn son” (Numbers 18:15).

It is specifically the obligation of fathers to redeem their firstborn son from a kohein. This, however, only applies if the child is the firstborn son of his mother, and neither parent is the child of a kohein or a Levite (SA Yoreh Deah 305:18).

At Numbers 18:15, Scripture refers to a woman’s firstborn son as the child who “opens her womb” when he is born, and this was taken as reference specifically to vaginal birt. If a child is delivered through Caesarean section, therefore, there is no need for that child to be redeemed. In such a case, children born in subsequent vaginal births are exempt from the obligation to be redeemed as well (SA Yoreh Deah 305:24).

If a woman’s first pregnancy ends in miscarriage within forty days of conception, or even if she miscarries before the fetus develops a recognizable human form and then subsequently gives birth to a son, that child needs to be redeemed because he is considered her firstborn son. If a woman suffers a miscarriage after forty days, there is no pidyon ha-bein for a subsequently born son, however, because he is not considered the first issue of her womb. In doubtful cases, a rabbi should be consulted for a precise ruling.

Since the ritual is about redeeming firstborn sons from priestly service, there is no need for a member of a priestly or levitical family to be redeemed, and this is the case whether it is the child’s mother or father who is the child of a kohein or Levite (SA Yoreh Dei-ah 305:18).

The child must be at least thirty days old to be redeemed. Therefore, because it is deemed unseemly to delay in the performance of the commandments, the pidyon ha-bein ceremony should be held on the thirty-first day after the baby is born or as close to that time as possible. It may not be held on a Shabbat or on a festival, during which money may not be handled, however, since the ceremony involves an exchange of coins. It may take place on any of the intermediate days of Passover or Sukkot. If the ceremony is inadvertently performed before a boy is thirty-one days old, it is deemed invalid and must be performed again (SA Yoreh Dei-ah 305:11 and 13). If it is performed after, even long after, the thirty-first day it is deemed wholly valid.

It is customary to perform the ceremony in the daytime. However, in urgent cases [like Shabbat and festivals, plus others - DS] the ritual may be performed on the evening going into [or out of - DS] the thirty-first day of the child’s life.

Until a boy reaches the age of thirteen, it remains his father’s obligation to redeem him. After age thirteen, however, the obligation devolves onto the firstborn himself and can be looked after at any age (SA Yoreh Dei-ah 305:15).

It is necessary to have a kohein present to redeem the ritual [however, under extraordinary circumstances, it is not necessary to have the baby - DS]. A rabbi may act as host or master of ceremonies, but no one but a kohein can undertake to redeem the child [unless the rabbi is a kohein - DS].

In preparation for the ceremony, one should the symbolic equivalent of five sh’kalim. Special coins have been minted over the years for this purpose, but it is very usual in the United States and Canada for silver dollars to be used.

Often, the kohein will return these special coins to the family after the ceremony, and request that they make a contribution to a charity of their choice in honor of their son’s redemption. In this way, the emphasis is placed on tz’dakah and the coins themselves can remain as a meaningful keepsake for the family.

The pidyon ha-bein ceremony ceremony traditionally takes place in the course of a meal [unless the family is sitting Shiva, in which case there is no meal - DS]. Usually, the blessing over bread is said, and then, before the actual meal is served, the pidyon ha-bein ceremony takes place. The meal is then served. If the thirty-first day of a boy’s life falls on a fast day, the pidyon ha-bein should not be deferred and should take place without the meal.

There is no redemption ceremony for a firstborn daughter. The question has been asked whether the concept of redemption should be widened to include girls. In that the ceremony is specifically rooted in the concept of undoing an ancient obligation that affected boys only, most Conservative rabbis have followed Rabbi Gerald Skolnik, who wrote as follows in a 1993 responsum for the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards: “The biblically mandated practice of pidyon ha-bein is restricted to male firstborn children only, and should not be expanded to include firstborn female children. However, all gatherings which serve the purpose of enhancing the sense of blessing and specialness associated with the birth of firstborn female children are to be encouraged” (CJLS Responsa 1991-2000, pp. 163-165).

Appendix B: What are some important texts about Pidyon Haben?

Rabbi Joel Roth: "Surely according to Tosafot and the Rosh in Rashi's name, pidyon haben is another indication of lineal sanctity for the daughters of Priests even if married. It is equally important to note that Maimonides' view does not either preclude or deny lineal sanctity to daughters of Priests... it seems reasonable and proper … that the daughters of priests and of Levites be accorded the same aliyot that are normally accorded to priests and Levites. This should be the case whether they are single or married.”(From The Status of Daughters of Kohanim and Leviyim for Aliyot)

Chananel ben Chushiel (Rabbeinu Chananel) c. 980–1055, was a North African rabbi and Talmudist. He is considered one of the first Rishonim and studied under the last of the Geonim. His family was from Italy and migrated to Kairowan, where he ultimately attained great renown. He served as rosh yeshiva in Kairowan after the passing of his father. He maintained a lively correspondence with the heads of the great yeshivot in Babylonia. He was also successful in business and attained great wealth. His is the earliest comprehensive commentary on the Talmud.

Appendix C: A D’var Torah about Pidyon Haben and Egalitarianism

By: Miron Hirsch, used with permission

Not that many days ago, I shared the annoying question of “Is it morally permissible to state when we are right and our black-hat orthodox coreligionists are wrong?” This in particular in dealing with people who might not fit in with the Black hat model of a jew because they are LGBTQ. Loday, let me offer a different annoying question, which is: How far do we go when it comes to being egalitarian?

Most of this parsha can be summed up in a single lucid graphic and a set of census results, which you could steal from the Artscroll chumash or a Wikipedia article. Who would stoop so low as to steal it from Wikipedia? Well that would be me. And here's the graphic.

Hidden in the 3rd chapter of this week's portion is something that rarely comes up in modern Jewish life. This week's portion contains verses regarding the pidyon ha-Ben, the redemption of a first born son.

3:13—

כִּ֣י לִי֮ כׇּל־בְּכוֹר֒ בְּיוֹם֩ הַכֹּתִ֨י כׇל־בְּכ֜וֹר בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֗יִם הִקְדַּ֨שְׁתִּי לִ֤י כׇל־בְּכוֹר֙ בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל מֵאָדָ֖ם עַד־בְּהֵמָ֑ה לִ֥י יִהְי֖וּ אֲנִ֥י ה׃ {פ}
For every male first-born is Mine: at the time that I smote every [male] first-born in the land of Egypt, I consecrated every male first-born in Israel, human and beast, to Myself, to be Mine, Adonai’s.

3:45-51:

Later there is some substitution going on, and despite the levi’im taking on the ritual roles of the first born, there are still a few firstborn that need redeeming at 5 silver sheks a head:

ֽYHVH spoke to Moshe, saying: Take the Levites in place of all the male first-born among the Israelite people, and the cattle of the Levites in place of their cattle; and the Levites shall be Mine, YHVH’s. And as the redemption price of the 273 Israelite male first-born over and above the number of the Levites, take five shekels per head—take this by the sanctuary weight, twenty gerahs to the shekel— and give the money to Aharon and his sons as the redemption price for those who are in yet to be redeemed. So Moshe took the redemption money from those over and above the ones redeemed by the Levites; he took the money from the male first-born of the Israelites, 1,365 sanctuary shekels.

And this redemption still takes place today-with its five coins of real silver of the right weight, worth around $100 to $200 these days, depending on the coins. Old silver liberty dollars (pre WWI) in good condition go for about $20 each on the market. The new and shiny silver 5 coin set from the Israeli Mint run over $200.

For those who have never seen a pidyon haben, you take the boychick on his 31^st day, gather your friends and minyan in Matan, Sarah and Avi’s backyard, bring the boy out on a silver tray filled with a combination of sugar cubes, silver, pastry, gold, and garlic- all to represent hopes for the child to have wealth, be protected from evil, and have a sweet life. The jewelery usually goes back to the grandmothers and aunties who supplied it, and the sweets and sugar are taken home later by guests. You take the five coins, and call over a Kohen of merit and compassion, say, Gary Z., although according to several rishonim it could be a bat Kohen-- and you hand the baby over and say this is a bechor, a first born son who needs to be redeemed, whereupon the Kohen says, “alright, what will it be? Your firstborn son or the 5 silver coins which you are required to redeem him with?"

The parents ask for the kid and hand over the coins, The parents then bless “Al Pidyon HaBen" and Shechechiyanu, the kohen makes a few mystical gestures as he recites both some mystical words and hopes that the kid will go on to torah, chuppah and ma’asim tovim, and then Gary (the Kohen) gives the kid a full formed blessing, same as done by a parent over a boy on any Friday night. And then you make kiddush, and have a festive meal with all the wine and song and even meat if you want, even if it falls out in the nine days.

Brit Milah is quite under siege throughout the Jewish world, from within and without, and Conservative Rabbis are having to decide whether to admit anti-circumcision activists and their families into their congregation. One would think that the Pidyon Haben would be at least be under some similar amount of attack, as it seen by many as anti-egalitarian : it involves the ancient priesthood, it is based on evaluating infant lives in terms of silver coinage, and so on. But this redemption of a first born son rarely raises itself to the level of the brit Mila in terms of the angry and nasty invective that is heaped upon circumcision.

There are two simple reasons for that. The first being that a redemption of the first born son does not involve outpatient surgery, and the second is that most of those who oppose brit mila have never even heard of, let alone been invited to a pidyon haben.

They are not alone.

I've led a life relatively anchored to Jewish practice, yet in my entire life the only time I was invited to a redemption of a first born son was with my own first born son. Why are these things so rare? Let's take 1000 American Jewish families expecting their first child. Just a smidge under a half of those will, mazaltov, have a baby girl and plan a zeved bat, brit bat, simchat bat-- or welcoming a baby girl by another name, so that leaves us with 510 baby boys.

On average, 32% of babies born in the United states are born by cesarian section, which disqualifies the infant from requiring a redemption, since the verse says all breachers of the womb belong to me, and the C-section is not what the Torah has in mind in terms of breaching the womb- at least, not as the Rabbis have interpreted since the 2^nd temple period.

In addition roughly 10% of Jewish men identify as either being kohen or Levi, and all such call kohanim and levi’im being already dedicated to the temple, their sons are exempt from a redemption. They are stuck. Furthermore, even having a mother who was a bat kohen or bat levi removes the infant from those needing a redemption. There is no easy way to be sure of just how many families qualify in this regard but it would not be unreasonable to say it's another 10% who are disqualified this way. So now 255 families remain out of our hypothetical 1000.

Only about 40% of American Jews today affiliate with a synagogue, which is the most reliable indicator – not only, but most reliable- of a family being connected with their Judaism enough to know of -- or be made aware of Pidyon Haben. That brings us down to 102 families.

Now- Just over 40% of affiliated Jews affiliate with Reform or Reconstructionist Judaism, neither of which support or endorse the Pidyon Haben, and they do not perform it. That brings us down to 61 families.

And of those 61 from the original 1000, about 20, being part of the Conservative movement more by inertia than by intent, will not bother even if told by their rabbi to have a Pidyon. That brings us to just over 40 families.

Sadly, we must add the really awful things here at the end: Stillbirths and late miscarriages do not disqualify our being compassionate to a family, but they do absolve any boys born after such awful losses from requiring a Pidyon. And then add babies born with health problems where after 30 days after birth the male baby has yet to have a public name, or a bris, because the parents are basically living at the hospital as their boy struggles for life. Or a parent is fighting cancer, or called up on reserve duty in the USAF and the Pidyon is pushed away and forgotten. I would suggest that leaves us about 5 in every 1000.

Inheritance, illness, ignorance, all reduce the likelihood of this ancient mitzvah being observed.

5 in 1000. Actually, let’s make it 4 in 1000. There are Jews who are synagogue affiliated, Jewish educated, ritually obligated, and who reject doing pidyon Haben because they see it as anti-egalitarian and patriarchal; on feminist grounds alone they reject performing this mitzvah. I was in the room when a member of my extended family, a first born son, lofted a question about his pidyon haben to his father the Talmud professor. The father happily noted that he had rejected performing the rite for the reasons I mentioned, but then began to muse, as Jewish academics often do, as to the repercussions of his not redeeming his son. Was my relative now obligated to redeem himself? Or was his father still on the hook? Certainly the dad was suddenly re-evaluating the choice given his son’s look of disappointment. He had just learned that his father had left him on the hook for about $125 in silver coins he was going to have to fork over to his best friend, a kohen.

(Note: It seems this is a case of Safek Deoraitah Lechumrah- Halacha goes strict in mitzvot laid out in the Torah, and the current practice is to assume both requirements are in need of resolution, and therefore the Kohen must be presented with 10 silver coins-- five from the father who redeems his son, and five from the son who redeems himself. This may seem completely absurd, but this is the way it all played out.)

So out of 1000 births in an American Jewish community, we may have four pidyonei haben. And you might say “that’s four too damned many! A blessing just because the kid has a scrotum? Priests and valuing people in silver coin- Come on, haven’t we moved beyond this stone age nonsense? A ritual that excludes female babies? Let this go. If we are really egalitarian, let’s not waste time on something that excludes everyone who doesn’t claim some preposterous link to a fictitious figure who founded a hereditary priesthood . Let’s bash patriarchy in the groin and get rid of this boys-only garbage!

You might say that- and you would not be alone.

Or you might say “If we’re going to have a pidyon haben, we better have a pidyon ha’bat.” But what is strange is that while over the decades rituals for celebrating the arrival of a baby girl have been created, recreated, reincarnated and remixed, the pidyon ha’bat has gotten little traction, even in the middle ground of tradition and change, the Conservative Movement. Even with the moment’s committee on Jewish law and standards which always one JTS graduate put it, “only says no to saying no”, is said to have forbidden the pidyon habat. But the real reason the Pidyon HaBat never became normative is that the ritual has simply never become popular enough.

Do note that the teshuvah written in 1993 by Gerald Skolnik actually says that the chiyuv of the pidyon haben should not be expanded to include obligating the Pidyon Habat ceremony. The mandate should remain with the pidyoun haben alone, while the option for a pidyon habat should be open, as so to let parents determine the timing of rituals for their baby girl.

Skolnik writes:

“In a very brief span of time as Jewish law goes, the Simhat Bat ceremony has become widely accepted and utilized, even outside the Conservative community,” skolnik noted in 1993, and it is even more universal now.

“The absence of a halakhic time-mandate for a smichat bat affords parents the opportunity to hold the ceremony at their convenience. Unless they are specifically wedded to the parallelism of a brit bat ceremony on the eighth day after birth, there is no reason why the simchat bat ceremony for a firstborn female child could not be held on the day when a pidyon would have been held for a male 1rst-born child.”

And for those who think it is time to purge the pidyon haben from all egalitarian confines, I have nothing more to share- I will not be able to convince anyone maintaining that version of egalitarianism of the worth of the ritual or the power of performing this Torah commandment. The idea to purge brit and pidyon comes from an extremist position, where any recognition of biology is institutionalized oppression. That approach from the left is as adversarial and problematic for a traditional egalitarian minyan as its counterpart, the one maintained by our black hatted co-religionists who maintain the recognition of biology is the only thing that matters.

But for the rest of us who are seeking to harmonize mitzvah and our mission of egalitarian prayer, the dumping of a mitzvah in blind obedience to an ideal does not appeal. What Skolnik addresses is our challenge: how does an egalitarian community look at the fact that there are two ceremonies for a baby boy that are time bound and fixed, and that the ceremonies for welcoming a baby girl are open and unanchored in the calendar? Just how far does our egalitarian ideal shape our answers?

Do we look at such discrepancies, weigh them, and in the balance find them all lacking? Do we say that the particular, being exclusionary, must be replaced with the universal, being for all? Do we reject Brit Milah and Pidyon haben, and the quicker they are eliminated, the better?

Or do we create a new mandate not found in Torah, and require a pidyon Bat on the 31^st day?

Or do we take a nuanced approach, and see the freedom to welcome a daughter with rituals that are still becoming, still shifting, not as inferior but as an opportunity? Not as flawed but as blessing and a gift?

As a blessing and a gift, of course. Like that’s even a question.

As for the kids themselves? Naomi and I are working on them. Shabbat Shalom.

Appendix D: An alternative script for a Pidyon Haben

From: Scott Bolton

https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/270319?lang=bi

Parents:

With the arrival of our first son/newborn the cosmos are ever changed. The world is blessed anew. And we are now parents drawing upon wells of ancient wisdom and rivers of love.

Those congregated respond:

With this miracle of new life, we are filled with gratitude and share in the joy of these new parents. Among the billions of souls in the world we are filled with gratitude as we gather today to pledge our love, support and offer our blessings to them and their new child.

Parents:

Our pledge is to fill our lives and our child's life with love and learning. May we be blessed to fulfill the vision that was chanted under our chuppah at our wedding - that our house be uniquely our own, filled with love, and that we will nourish a connection with the Jewish People, Torah, and the pursuit of peace and acts of kindness.

The Kohein or Bat Kohein says:

The firstborn of the womb of a Jewish mother is redeemed by his parents since ancient times. We ask the new mother and father to present coins, in order to show their gratitude to God for allowing this child's body and soul to now be entrusted to them. As God gave us life, we give thanks.

Parents:

A member of the priestly group of the Jewish People acts as an agent, so that we may express our gratitude and show our thanks in ceremony. With this exchange we commit to nourish both an intellectual and a spiritual wisdom in our son/newborn, so that our child may come to grasp the meaning of being a Jew and make meaning of life itself.

The mother says to the Bat Kohen/Kohen:

Yaldah Li Ben Zeh HaBakhur

יָלְדָה לִי בֵּן זֶה הַבְּכוֹר

We have been blessed with a firstborn son.

The father takes the coins or item of value:

With the money extended, the father explains:

Hafetz Ani Lifdot et B'ni v'heh l'kha demay fidyono sheh'nitchayavti min haTorah

חָפֵץ אֲנִי לִפְדוֹת אֶת בְּנִי וְהֵא לְךָ דְמֵי פִדְיוֹנוֹ שֶׁנִתְחַיַבְתִּי מִן הַתּוֹרָה

I want to redeem my son, and here you have the coins that I am required by the Torah to give.

The parents together pronounce the blessing:

Barukh Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melekh HaOlam Asher Kidshanu B'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al Pidyon haBen

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו. וְצִוָּנוּ עַל פִּדְיוֹן הַבֵּן

Blessed are You, L-rd our G‑d, King of the Universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning the redemption of a son.

Barukh Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melekh HaOlam SheHekhayanu, V'kiyamanu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh!

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְמַן הַזֶּה

Blessed are You, L-rd our G‑d, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion.

The kohen takes the money and then, while holding the money over the child's head, recites the following:

Zeh tahat zeh, zeh hiluf zeh, zeh mahul zeh, v'yikanes zeh haben l'chaim l'Torah u'l'yirat Shamayim

זֶה תַחַת זֶה, זֶה חִילוּף זֶה, זֶה מָחוּל עַל זֶה. וְיִכָּנֵס זֶה הַבֵּן לְחַיִים לְתּוֹרָה וּלְיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם.

This comes to show gratitude for life; as God has granted breath so will the parents breath life into their child. With this we begin teaching how meaningful and beautiful the gift of life is. Parents and extended family, friends and community all symbolized by me pledge to help this family pursue lives guided by Jewish values and God's Presence.

The Kohen or Bat Kohen then blesses the child with hands upon or over the child's head:

יְשִׂימְךָ אֱלהִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁהְ
יְבָרֶכְךָ ה' וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ
יָאֵר ה' פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ
יִשָּׂא ה' פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם
ה' שׁמְרֶךָ ה' צִלּךָ עַל יַד יְמִינֶךָ
ה' יִשְׁמָרְךָ מִכָּל רָע יִשְׁמר אֶת נַפְשֶׁךָ
כִּי אוֹרֶךְ יָמִים וּשְׁנוֹת חַיִּים וְשָׁלוֹם יוֹסִיפוּ לָךְ
ה' יִשְׁמָרְךָ מִכָּל רָע יִשְׁמר אֶת נַפְשֶׁךָ

Another may read:

May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.
May God bless you and guard you.
May God shine His countenance upon you and grant you grace.
May God turn His countenance towards you and grant you peace.

Another may read:

God should guard you against all evil, [may He] guard your soul.
For long days and years of life shall be added to you.
G‑d should guard you against all evil, [may He] guard your soul.

Lifting the glass of wine, the Bat Kohen or Kohen says:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Blessed are You, L-rd our G‑d, King of the Universe, who created fruit of the vine.

The parents may then address their child, share blessings and more about the baby's name.

Others in the community of family and friends offer blessings.

Then the festive meal commences; one challah is needed and a speicial Birkat HaMazon may be recited.

Appendix E: Thoughts on Pidyon Haben

Rabbi Isaak Klein

Undoubtedly, the original reason for the redemption of the firstborn was the feeling that he belonged to God or was dedicated to God. It expressed the pious awareness that our first obligation is always to God... Among the children of Israel, it meant that the firstborn was given to the priest to assist him in the sanctuary. His redemption was a means of retaining the idea of our primary obligations to God while at the same time keeping the firstborn son home with the family.

Rabbi Barbara Penzer

Because the essential ritual of the pidyon symbolically represents "redeeming" children from service to God, the ceremony reminds us that we do not "own" our children's bodies or souls.

Rabbi David Teutsch

While all children are unique and to be valued equally the significance of the first child is distinctive... There is psychological and emotional wisdom in the acknowledgment of the profound transformation that a first child creates in the family. The importance of continuing to acknowledge that transformation through ritual, symbol, and prayer is worth considering.

Moreh Derekh

The Pidyon Haben ceremony puts us in touch with the special relationship that God has with all that issues first from the womb. All first fruits have a unique bond with the force of creation and, lest we are tempted to credit ourselves with the awesome power of creation, we must set them aside for the Creator.

The first issue of the womb of Israel has an additional bond to God—the bond of redemption, having been spared by God when all the firstborn of Egypt were killed. Pidyon Haben marks both the uniqueness of the relationship and the transition which occurred in the desert where the Levites replaced the firstborn.

Appendix F: A Reform Take

Note that traditionally, if the first delivery is a Caesarian-section, neither that child nor the next one need to be redeemed.

Pidyon haben (which means "redemption of the first-born son") refers to a traditional Jewish ritual that originated in ancient times. Although it is more commonly practiced among Orthodox and Conservative Jews, many Reform families also observe this ritual. However, because the Reform Movement does not recognize any special status for priests (known as Kohanim and considered to be direct male descendents of Aaron) or Levites (members of the tribe descended from Jacob's son Levi), it is not logical to demand the redemption of a first born son. When performed in Reform circles, pidyon haben is a symbol of a tradition and a tie to the past.

The ceremony derives from a series of biblical passages that portray God as laying claim to the first-born of both animals and human beings. Exodus 22:28-29 sets forth the command clearly: "You shall give Me the male first-born among your children. You shall do the same with your cattle and your flocks." The practical interpretation of this commandment led to the practice of dedicating all first-born things to God by bringing them to the Kohanim, the priests. First-born animals were offered as special sacrifices, while first-born sons entered the priesthood or priestly service. The original ceremony of pidyon haben took place one month after birth. First-born male children who were not children of Kohanim or Levites were symbolically released from priestly service through payment of five shekels of silver to one of the priests. The money was used to sustain the Temple, and parents returned to their homes with their offspring.

Most commonly, pidyon haben is observed for a child who is peter rechem, the "son that opens the womb," who is to be redeemed, so long as the child survives for 30 days. A son born naturally after the mother had previously given birth by a caesarean section is obligated, even if the actual first-born is a male. Also included are sons delivered in a pregnancy after the first pregnancy has miscarried during the first 40 days. If a man marries twice, the first-born son of each wife, according to tradition, must be redeemed.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT A PIDYON HABEN

The ceremony is held on the 30th day following birth. If the 30th day falls on Shabbat, a fast day, or a festival, the ceremony is delayed for 24 hours. The ritual is a home celebration, and family and friends are usually invited to take part.

A typical pidyon haben ceremony will include these components:

• The parents hand their son to a Kohein, the priest,who symbolically represents the ancient priesthood.
• They recite a formula in Hebrew meaning: "This is our first-born son, and the Holy One, blessed be God, has commanded us to redeem him."
• The Kohein asks the parents: "Which would you rather do-give me your first-born son, the first-born of his mother, or redeem him for five shekels, as you are obligated to give according to the Torah?"
• The parents respond: "We prefer to redeem our son. And here is his redemption price, which we must give according to the Torah."
• The parents then give the Kohein a sum of money, usually $5. The Kohein takes the money and hands the baby back to his parents.
• The parents recite two blessings,one regarding the mitzvah of pidyon haben the other the Shehecheyanu, to thank God for bringing them to this occasion.
• The Kohein places the money on the child's head and says: "This for that, this in commutation of that, this in remission of that." He then invokes a blessing, wishing the child a life filled with Torah, a happy marriage, and performance of good deeds. The Priestly Benediction and the Kiddush over the wine, then conclude the ceremony.

In recent years, some couples have created personal rituals for their first-born daughters that are parallel to pidyon haben. Families that choose to have a pidyon haben ceremony-whether for a son or a daughter-find it to be a meaningful expression of thanks to God for a child, and its ties to the history of our people make it an appropriate subject of study for us all.

https://blogs.rj.org/beliefs-practices/lifecycle-rituals/birth-rituals/what-pidyon-haben

Appendix G: An Orthodox Take

By: Marilyn Rest

Used with permission of the author

The Pidyon HaBen (Hebrew: פדיון הבן‬) or redemption of the first-born son[1] is a mitzvah in Judaism whereby a Jewish first-born son is "redeemed" by use of five silver coins from his birth-state of sanctity, i.e. from being predestined by his first-born status to serve as a priest.

The redemption is attained by giving five silver coins to a Kohen (a patrilineal descendant of the priestly family of Aaron).

As a proud member of that tribe, anything about Kohanim interests me. What really gave me the idea for this speech was an article I read on the internet. I wish I had saved it on my computer, but the title was something like this: “How do you know if a man is really a Kohen?” The man who wrote the article said he wasn’t too worried about Duchanning. He said that he was confident that at least one Kohen who got up to Duchan was genuine.

The author redeemed his son at the proper time by giving 5 silver dollars to a Kohen. The Kohen gave the $5 back as a gift for the baby. The author was worried because he said, “How do you really know who is a Kohen.” Now, every time the author meets a Kohen, he redeems his son and the Kohen gives the money back as a gift for the baby. To me that seems very extreme.

In the Book of Genesis, there were twins Jacob and Esau. The birthright belonged Esau because he was born first. Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of pottage when he came home very hungry after hunting.

The first born of other cultures also had special status in the Middle East. If you saw the movie “Exodus Decoded,” the Egyptian first born sons slept in beds on the first floor of the house. Other people slept on rooftops and in wagons.

Just prior to the Israelites leaving Egypt, G-d commanded Moses to tell the Israelites to mark the two doorposts and the lintels of their homes with the blood of a lamb. At midnight, the Angel of Death slew all the first born sons of Egypt, but passed over the homes of the Israelites that had been marked with the blood.

First-born sons were considered holy, and the first-born sons of the Children of Israel were designated to serve G-d, but because of the sin of the golden calf, which involved 11 of the 12 tribes of Israel, including first-born sons, that honor was taken away from them. The tribe of Levy did not participate in the sin of the golden calf, so G-d chose them instead. Aaron and his male descendants became the Kohanim who served in the Mishkan and later in the Temple, and the other male members of the tribe of Levi (the Leviim) were their assistants. They carried the Ark when the Israelites traveled from place to place during the 40 years in the wilderness. In the Temple, they played music and served as guards.

Who needs a Pidyon HaBen?

Unlike with inheritance, where it’s the first-born son of the father who gets a double portion, and unlike the Fast of the First Born which applies to the first- born son of either the mother or the father, Pidyon HaBen only applies to the first-born son of the mother, the one that opens the womb.

If the first born of the mother is a girl, and the mother has a boy at a later date, he would not have a Pidyon HaBen. If the mother’s first-born son is born by Cesarean section, he would not have a Pidyon HaBen. If she later had a son in a normal birth, he would he would not have a Pidyon HaBen either. If the mother had had a miscarriage or an abortion prior to giving birth to a first-born son, one of my sources said if the miscarriage or abortion occurred during the first 40 days of pregnancy, you would have the Pidyon HaBen without saying the Brachas. Another source said to consult an Orthodox rabbi.

In the case of first-born twin boys, only the boy born first has a Pidyon HaBen. In the case of first-born boy and girl twins, the boy has a Pidyon HaBen only if he was born before the girl.

The father is obligated to redeem his first-born son, providing the mother is Jewish, even if she is a convert. If she is not Jewish, the child would not be Jewish, and no redemption is possible.

If the mother was not Jewish when she conceived, but converts before she gives birth, the baby is Jewish. If he is a first-born son, he would need a Pidyon HaBen. If the mother converts after the birth and converts the baby, there would be no Pidyon HaBen because he was not born to a Jewish mother. You would not have a Pidyon HaBen for an adopted boy unless you knew for sure he was born to a Jewish mother and it was her first pregnancy.

If the father dies before the child is born, the mother has no obligation to redeem her son. The obligation then falls upon the boy to redeem himself when he reaches the age of Bar Mitzvah. He can, however, be redeemed by another relative or by a Bet Din. If the mother is Jewish and the father is not, the father is not obligated to redeem his son (nor would it be valid if he did so). In such a case, the obligation again falls upon the son to redeem himself when he becomes of age. The same thing would apply if the father is unknown. Even if the boy is a momzer (conceived as a result of adultery of a married woman or of incest), he would still need a Pidyon HaBen.

If the father of the boy is a Kohen or a Levi, the boy would be exempt from Pidyon HaBen. If the mother is the daughter of a Kohen or a Levi, the boy would also be exempt from Pidyon HaBen.

There are exceptions: If the father is a Kohen in a prohibited marriage or relationship, that is:

• A non-Jewish woman

• A convert

• a divorcee

• an adulteress (i.e. a widow who had cheated on her late husband). If a single woman has an affair with a married man, that would not be considered adultery according to Jewish law.

• a woman who had ever committed or been a victim of incest

• a Chalitzah widow

• a woman who has ever had relations with a non-Jew

• the daughter of a Kohen and a woman who he is forbidden to marry

he would be a Challal and would be obligated to redeem his son.

When I was growing up, I was told that a Kohen could only marry a virgin or a widow. Not true. Even if a woman had an affair or many affairs, she could still marry a Kohen if all of her lovers were Jewish.

Likewise, if the father is the son of a Kohen and a woman forbidden to Kohen, he would also be a Challal himself and be required to redeem his son.

Now, this gets complicated: If the father is a Yisrael and the mother is a daughterof a Kohen who ever had relations with a non-Jew, she would lose her status as a Bat Kohen, and her son would have to be redeemed. If the father is a Yisrael and the mother is a daughter of a Levi who ever had relations with a non-Jew, she would not lose her status as a Bat Levi, and her son would still be exempt from Pidyon HaBen.

Faye Kellerman has written the Peter Decker and Rita Lazarus series. I have read every book in that series in order. Peter was born to a 15-year-old girl from a Charedi community, who had an affair with a married Jewish man. (In most states, that would be considered statuary rape.) The girl was sent away to school. When she gave birth, she gave the baby up for adoption. No one in the Charedi community knew about it except for the girl’s parents. Peter was adopted by a Baptist couple.

In the meantime, the girl’s father said that some rabbis would consider the girl’s relationship a marriage, so he went to the father of the baby and obtained a gett for his daughter. When the girl came home from her “exile,” her father told her that she couldn’t marry a Kohen because she was a divorcee; she couldn’t marry a Yisroel, because if her first child was a boy, he couldn’t have a Pidyon HaBen because he wouldn’t be her first-born (and no one in their community knew that she had had a baby). Her father said that she would have to marry a Levi and he found one for her.

Pidyon HaBen is done 30 days after the birth. Counting the day of birth as day 1, it would be done on the 31st day of the baby’s life. It is usually done in the afternoon in conjunction with a Seudah (a festive meal).

If the 31st day falls on a Shabbat or Yom Tov, it is done in the evening after the Shabbat or holiday. If the 31st day falls on a Friday or Erev Yom Tov, the Pidyon HaBen is usually done in the morning to give people time to prepare for Shabbat or Yom Tov. There are some exceptions to this. According to the Ashkenazim, it must be at least 29 days and 12 hours and 45 minutes (one rotation of the moon) after the moment of the birth. You could have a problem if the baby was born in the late afternoon when the days are long; the morning right after Shachrit might be too soon to have the Pidyon HaBen and the afternoon might not give people enough time to prepare for Shabbat or Yom Tov. An Orthodox rabbi should be consulted in this case.

If the 31st day is a rabbinic fast, even Tisha B’Av, I have read two opinions. One is that the Pidyon HaBen should be done in the afternoon and the meal should be served in the evening after the fast. The other is that the Pidyon HaBen itself should be postponed until the evening after the fast.

If a Pidyon HaBen occurs during the Nine Days, there are several different opinions.

• The strictest: You can’t serve meat.

• The most lenient: The Seudah is Mitzvah Meal, so you can serve meat if you wish.

• Only the parents (and perhaps the grandparents) can eat meat. The others should be served a parve meal.

• Only a Minyan (10 men) can have meat. The others should be served a parve meal.

• Only 10 people (men or women) can have meat. The others should be served a parve meal.

I’m not going to have any babies, but if it were up to me to plan the meal, I would go with the first option. It’s going to be difficult to prevent people from sharing food. As always, consult an Orthodox rabbi if you want to serve meat, then follow his ruling.

If the baby is in the hospital on the 31st day, the Pidyon HaBen should be done without the baby present. If the father is away and cannot be home on the 31st day, he should have the Pidyon HaBen wherever he is, provided he can find a Kohen. We had a very interesting situation at ASBI at the beginning of Covid. Rabbi Wolkenfeld, the father of the baby, and a Kohen met in the driveway of the shul and went through the Pidyon HaBen ceremony. The baby was not there.

If the Bris is delayed because the baby is not strong enough, the Pidyon HaBen should still be done on the 31st day, even if it’s before the Bris.

If either the mother or the father is sitting Shiva, the Pidyon HaBen should still be done at the proper time, but there should not be a festive meal.

I know of some people who had the Pidyon HaBen on a Sunday morning following the 31st day because they could get more people to come. This isn’t a good idea; you really shouldn’t delay this Mitzvah; however, it would still be valid if you didso.

Where do the five silver coins come from? When Joseph was pulled out of the pit, he was sold to the Egyptians for 20 pieces of silver. A piece of silver was equivalent to ¼ of a silver shekel. In Israel they use five silver shekels. In the United States they use five silver dollars. You cannot use paper money, a check, a credit card, or a deed to land or a house. It has to be something with intrinsic value.

Dollar coins dated 1964 & earlier were 90% silver. The Eisenhower dollar coins, issued from 1971 to 1978 were 40% silver. After 1978, dollar coins were made of silver-plated copper. Copper is expensive, but not nearly as expensive as silver.InDecember, 2011, the U.S. Mint stopped making dollar coins for general circulation; now they only make collector coins. According to the Shulchan Aruch, the coins should contain at least 102.4 grams of silver. Chabad recommends buying older silver dollars from a coin dealer. You can also use an object with the equivalent value of at least 102.4 grams of silver, such as a gold watch.

My father, of blessed memory, served as the Kohen in many Pidyon HaBen ceremonies. I have never been to one; but I wish that I had. He always gave the $5 back as a gift for the baby. One reason for doing that is in case the man isn’t a real Kohen, that would be stealing. Some rabbis say that isn’t a good idea, because people will only use a Kohen who gives back the money, and that would deprive a needy Kohen of an income.

It's best to have a Minyan at a Pidyon HaBen, but it isn’t required. You should not delay a Pidyon HaBen for a later date when a Minyan is available. Sometimes a Pidyon HaBen is done quietly. An adult man could have some doubt as to whether or not his Pidyon HaBen was valid, might want to redeem himself without any publicity. A Bat Kohen who lost her status wouldn’t want to make that public.

In all cases, when in doubt ask an Orthodox rabbi.

With appreciation to: Rabbi David Polsky, Scott Bolton, Robert Rhodes, Alec Goldman, Rabbi Nathan Kamesar, Jack Hodari, Bracha Jaffe,