Praying for those who cause us heartache Parashat Behaalotekha, June 22, 2024
(א) וַתְּדַבֵּ֨ר מִרְיָ֤ם וְאַהֲרֹן֙ בְּמֹשֶׁ֔ה עַל־אֹד֛וֹת הָאִשָּׁ֥ה הַכֻּשִׁ֖ית אֲשֶׁ֣ר לָקָ֑ח כִּֽי־אִשָּׁ֥ה כֻשִׁ֖ית לָקָֽח׃ (ב) וַיֹּאמְר֗וּ הֲרַ֤ק אַךְ־בְּמֹשֶׁה֙ דִּבֶּ֣ר ה׳ הֲלֹ֖א גַּם־בָּ֣נוּ דִבֵּ֑ר וַיִּשְׁמַ֖ע ה׳׃ (ג) וְהָאִ֥ישׁ מֹשֶׁ֖ה עָנָ֣ו מְאֹ֑ד מִכֹּל֙ הָֽאָדָ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־פְּנֵ֥י הָאֲדָמָֽה׃ {ס} (ד) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר ה׳ פִּתְאֹ֗ם אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֤ה וְאֶֽל־אַהֲרֹן֙ וְאֶל־מִרְיָ֔ם צְא֥וּ שְׁלׇשְׁתְּכֶ֖ם אֶל־אֹ֣הֶל מוֹעֵ֑ד וַיֵּצְא֖וּ שְׁלׇשְׁתָּֽם׃ (ה) וַיֵּ֤רֶד ה׳ בְּעַמּ֣וּד עָנָ֔ן וַֽיַּעֲמֹ֖ד פֶּ֣תַח הָאֹ֑הֶל וַיִּקְרָא֙ אַהֲרֹ֣ן וּמִרְיָ֔ם וַיֵּצְא֖וּ שְׁנֵיהֶֽם׃ (ו) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר שִׁמְעוּ־נָ֣א דְבָרָ֑י אִם־יִֽהְיֶה֙ נְבִ֣יאֲכֶ֔ם ה׳ בַּמַּרְאָה֙ אֵלָ֣יו אֶתְוַדָּ֔ע בַּחֲל֖וֹם אֲדַבֶּר־בּֽוֹ׃ (ז) לֹא־כֵ֖ן עַבְדִּ֣י מֹשֶׁ֑ה בְּכׇל־בֵּיתִ֖י נֶאֱמָ֥ן הֽוּא׃ (ח) פֶּ֣ה אֶל־פֶּ֞ה אֲדַבֶּר־בּ֗וֹ וּמַרְאֶה֙ וְלֹ֣א בְחִידֹ֔ת וּתְמֻנַ֥ת ה׳ יַבִּ֑יט וּמַדּ֙וּעַ֙ לֹ֣א יְרֵאתֶ֔ם לְדַבֵּ֖ר בְּעַבְדִּ֥י בְמֹשֶֽׁה׃ (ט) וַיִּֽחַר־אַ֧ף ה׳ בָּ֖ם וַיֵּלַֽךְ׃ (י) וְהֶעָנָ֗ן סָ֚ר מֵעַ֣ל הָאֹ֔הֶל וְהִנֵּ֥ה מִרְיָ֖ם מְצֹרַ֣עַת כַּשָּׁ֑לֶג וַיִּ֧פֶן אַהֲרֹ֛ן אֶל־מִרְיָ֖ם וְהִנֵּ֥ה מְצֹרָֽעַת׃ (יא) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אַהֲרֹ֖ן אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֑ה בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִ֔י אַל־נָ֨א תָשֵׁ֤ת עָלֵ֙ינוּ֙ חַטָּ֔את אֲשֶׁ֥ר נוֹאַ֖לְנוּ וַאֲשֶׁ֥ר חָטָֽאנוּ׃ (יב) אַל־נָ֥א תְהִ֖י כַּמֵּ֑ת אֲשֶׁ֤ר בְּצֵאתוֹ֙ מֵרֶ֣חֶם אִמּ֔וֹ וַיֵּאָכֵ֖ל חֲצִ֥י בְשָׂרֽוֹ׃ (יג) וַיִּצְעַ֣ק מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֶל־ה׳ לֵאמֹ֑ר אֵ֕ל נָ֛א רְפָ֥א נָ֖א לָֽהּ׃ {פ}
(יד) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר ה׳ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֗ה וְאָבִ֙יהָ֙ יָרֹ֤ק יָרַק֙ בְּפָנֶ֔יהָ הֲלֹ֥א תִכָּלֵ֖ם שִׁבְעַ֣ת יָמִ֑ים תִּסָּגֵ֞ר שִׁבְעַ֤ת יָמִים֙ מִח֣וּץ לַֽמַּחֲנֶ֔ה וְאַחַ֖ר תֵּאָסֵֽף׃ (טו) וַתִּסָּגֵ֥ר מִרְיָ֛ם מִח֥וּץ לַֽמַּחֲנֶ֖ה שִׁבְעַ֣ת יָמִ֑ים וְהָעָם֙ לֹ֣א נָסַ֔ע עַד־הֵאָסֵ֖ף מִרְיָֽם׃ (טז) וְאַחַ֛ר נָסְע֥וּ הָעָ֖ם מֵחֲצֵר֑וֹת וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ בְּמִדְבַּ֥ר פָּארָֽן׃ {פ}

(1) Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had taken [into his household as his wife]: “He took a Cushite woman!” (2) They said, “Has ה׳ spoken only through Moses? Has [God] not spoken through us as well?” ה׳ heard it. (3) Now Moses himself was very humble, more so than any other human being on earth. (4) Suddenly ה׳ called to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, “Come out, you three, to the Tent of Meeting.” So the three of them went out. (5) ה׳ came down in a pillar of cloud, stopped at the entrance of the Tent, and called out, “Aaron and Miriam!” The two of them came forward; (6) and [God] said, “Hear these My words: When prophets of ה׳ arise among you, I make Myself known to them in a vision, I speak with them in a dream. (7) Not so with My servant Moses; he is trusted throughout My household. (8) With him I speak mouth to mouth, plainly and not in riddles, and he beholds the likeness of ה׳. How then did you not shrink from speaking against My servant Moses!” (9) Still incensed with them, ה׳ departed. (10) As the cloud withdrew from the Tent, there was Miriam stricken with snow-white scales! When Aaron turned toward Miriam, he saw that she was stricken with scales. (11) And Aaron said to Moses, “O my lord, account not to us the sin which we committed in our folly. (12) Let her not be like a stillbirth which emerges from its mother’s womb with half its flesh eaten away!” (13) So Moses cried out to ה׳, saying, “O God, pray heal her!” (14) But ה׳ said to Moses, “If her father spat in her face, would she not bear her shame for seven days? Let her be shut out of camp for seven days, and then let her be readmitted.” (15) So Miriam was shut out of camp seven days; and the people did not march on until Miriam was readmitted. (16) After that the people set out from Hazeroth and encamped in the wilderness of Paran.

12:13. Oh, God, heal her! The untranslatable Hebrew 'na' particle occurs twice in Moses’ words, conveying that this is a fervent plea, something like: “God, please, heal her, please!”

Friedman, Richard Elliott. Commentary on the Torah (p. 2289). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

Moses is caught in a dilemma. On the one hand, Miriam had openly spoken against him and deserved to be punished. On the other hand, as his sister, she evoked his compassion. Moses' terse prayer--bereft of emotion and substantiation--is the result. It is a model of brevity, perhaps lest he be accused of showing favoritism to his sister. It is more likely, however, that the prayer's brevity indicates Moses' lack of enthusiasm and minimal compliance with Aaron's plea, an attitude supported by the fact that Miriam is not referred to by name but by the impersonal third person.

Jacob Milgrom, The JPS Torah Commentary: Numbers, p. 98.

(ז) וַיְהִ֗י אַחַ֨ר דִּבֶּ֧ר ה׳ אֶת־הַדְּבָרִ֥ים הָאֵ֖לֶּה אֶל־אִיּ֑וֹב וַיֹּ֨אמֶר ה׳ אֶל־אֱלִיפַ֣ז הַתֵּימָנִ֗י חָרָ֨ה אַפִּ֤י בְךָ֙ וּבִשְׁנֵ֣י רֵעֶ֔יךָ כִּ֠י לֹ֣א דִבַּרְתֶּ֥ם אֵלַ֛י נְכוֹנָ֖ה כְּעַבְדִּ֥י אִיּֽוֹב׃ {ס} (ח) וְעַתָּ֡ה קְחוּ־לָכֶ֣ם שִׁבְעָֽה־פָרִים֩ וְשִׁבְעָ֨ה אֵילִ֜ים וּלְכ֣וּ ׀ אֶל־עַבְדִּ֣י אִיּ֗וֹב וְהַעֲלִיתֶ֤ם עוֹלָה֙ בַּעַדְכֶ֔ם וְאִיּ֣וֹב עַבְדִּ֔י יִתְפַּלֵּ֖ל עֲלֵיכֶ֑ם כִּ֧י אִם־פָּנָ֣יו אֶשָּׂ֗א לְבִלְתִּ֞י עֲשׂ֤וֹת עִמָּכֶם֙ נְבָלָ֔ה כִּ֠י לֹ֣א דִבַּרְתֶּ֥ם אֵלַ֛י נְכוֹנָ֖ה כְּעַבְדִּ֥י אִיּֽוֹב׃ (ט) וַיֵּלְכוּ֩ אֱלִיפַ֨ז הַתֵּימָנִ֜י וּבִלְדַּ֣ד הַשּׁוּחִ֗י צֹפַר֙ הַנַּ֣עֲמָתִ֔י וַיַּעֲשׂ֔וּ כַּאֲשֶׁ֛ר דִּבֶּ֥ר אֲלֵיהֶ֖ם ה׳ וַיִּשָּׂ֥א ה׳ אֶת־פְּנֵ֥י אִיּֽוֹב׃ (י) וַה׳ שָׁ֚ב אֶת־[שְׁב֣וּת] (שבית) אִיּ֔וֹב בְּהִֽתְפַּֽלְל֖וֹ בְּעַ֣ד רֵעֵ֑הוּ וַיֹּ֧סֶף ה׳ אֶת־כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֥ר לְאִיּ֖וֹב לְמִשְׁנֶֽה׃

(7) After the LORD had spoken these words to Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am incensed at you and your two friends, for you have not spoken the truth about Me as did My servant Job. (8) Now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to My servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. And let Job, My servant, pray for you; for to him I will show favor and not treat you vilely, since you have not spoken the truth about Me as did My servant Job.” (9) Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did as the LORD had told them, and the LORD showed favor to Job. (10) The LORD restored Job’s fortunes when he prayed on behalf of his friends, and the LORD gave Job twice what he had before.

Moses's relationship with his siblings is in fundamental ways akin to his relationship with the people as a whole. Time and again they hurt him; time and again they disappoint him. And yet when push comes to shove, he stands in the breach and rises to their defense.

What is true for Moses may be true for all of us on a much smaller scale. It is one thing to pray for people we cherish, or with whom we have never faced conflict. It is quite another to pray--sincerely, with passion--for those who have hurt or disappointed us...

Perhaps part of what Job--and we--are meant to learn is that, hard as it can be, only one who finds it in herself to pray for others even when they have caused her heartache is worthy of having her prayers answered.

Shai Held, The Heart of Torah, Volume 2, p. 122-123

Questions for Discussion

1. Of the two interpretations of Moses' prayer for Miriam, Friedman and Milgrom, which do you prefer? Why?

2. What are circumstances in which we might pray for others who have caused us heartache?