Who is There? Kavod v'Nihum Conference - September 2024

They asked:

Are eulogies meant to honor the living or to honor the dead?

What difference does it make?

(It matters) if a person said - do not eulogize me.

Or (if the heirs do not want a funeral. Can we) collect expenses from the heirs?

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Come, listen to my reasoning:

"Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to weep over her" (Genesis 23:2).

If eulogies are to honor the living,

They would not delay Sarah's burial just to honor Avraham...

Perhaps it pleased Sarah that Avraham be honored for her.

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Come, listen to my reasoning:

"You will die in peace, and you will be cremated in the furnaces

of your ancestors, the early kings who came before you, and you will eulogized - woe, our master..." (Jeremiah 34:5).

If eulogies are to honor the living, why would he care?

What Jeremiah said was - Israel shall be honored through you as it was honored through your ancestors.

Rabbi Yitzḥak said: The maggots are as painful to the dead as a needle in the flesh of the living, as it says: “But his flesh is in pain for him, and his soul mourns over him” (Job 14:22).

Rav Ḥisda said: A person’s soul mourns for him during the seven days of mourning, as it is stated: And her soul mourns over her,” and it is also written: “And he mourned his father seven days” (Genesis 50:10).

Rav Yehuda said: A deceased person who has no comforters, ten people should go and sit at his place. a person died in Rav Yehuda’s neighborhood who did not have comforters; every day Rav Yehuda would take ten people and they would sit at his place. After seven days, the deceased appeared to Rav Yehuda in a dream and said: May you enjoy calm, as you have calmed me.

Rabbi Abbahu said: Everything people say in the presence of the deceased, the deceased knows, until the tomb is sealed. Rabbi Ḥiyya and Rabbi Shimon, son of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, disagreed with regard to this statement.

One of them said that he meant until the tomb is sealed with the top-stone. And the other said that he meant until the flesh decomposes.

The opinion that that it is until the flesh decomposes is related to the verse: “But her flesh grieves for her, and her soul mourns over her” (Job 14:22). The opinion that it is only until the tomb is sealed with the top-stone is related to the verse: “And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it” (Ecclesiastes 12:7).

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It was taught: For twelve months the body is intact and the soul rises and descends. After twelve months, the body ceases to exist and the soul rises, never to come down again.

(3) Another matter, “if…will become poor” – that is what is written: “A kind person does themself good” (Proverbs 11:17), this is Hillel the elder, who, when he would take leave from his disciples, would walk with them. His disciples said to him: ‘Our teacher, where are you going?’ He said to them: ‘To perform a mitzva.’ They said to him: ‘What mitzva is this?’ He said to them: ‘To bathe in the bathhouse.’ They said to him: ‘Is that a mitzva?’ He said to them: ‘Yes. The person who is appointed over the statues of kings that are placed in theaters and circuses, scrubs them and washes them. This person is payed a salary and held in high regard among the prominent leaders of the kingdom; I who was created in the likeness and image [of God], as it is written: “For the human was created in God's image” (Genesis 9:6), I should certainly do as much, and even more!’

(5) “Speak to the children of Israel, saying: When a person [nefesh] will sin…” Rabbi Yishmael taught: This is analogous to a king who had an orchard and there were fine first fruits in it. The king deployed guards there, one lame and one blind. He said to them: ‘Carefully guard these fine first fruits.’ Sometime later, the lame one said to the blind one. ‘I see fine first fruits in the orchard.’ The blind one said to him: ‘Bring and we shall eat.’ The lame one said to him: ‘Am I able to walk?’ The blind one said: ‘Am I able to see?’ The lame one rode upon the blind one, they ate the first fruits. then they went back and each sat in his place. Sometime later, the king entered the orchard. He said to them: ‘Where are the fine first fruits?’ The blind one said: ‘My lord the king, am I able to see?’ The disabled one said: ‘My lord the king, am I able to walk?’ What did the clever king do? He had the disabled one ride on the blind one and begin walking. He said to them: ‘This is what you did and how you ate the first fruits.’ So too, in the future the holy, blessed One b will say to the soul [nefesh]: ‘Why did you sin before Me?’ It will say: ‘Master of the universe, I did not sin; it was the body that sinned. Since I departed from it I am like a pure bird flying in the air. In what way have I sinned before You?’ God will say to the body: ‘Why did you sin?’ It will say: ‘Master of the universe, it is not I who sinned; the soul sinned. Since it departed from me, I am cast like a stone on the ground. Could I have sinned before You?’ What will the holy, blessed One do to them? God will bring the soul and throw it into the body and judge them both together, as it is stated: “God summons the heavens above, [and the earth, to judge His people]” (Psalms 50:4). “God summons the heavens above” to bring the soul, “and the earth” to bring the body. “To judge them together [amo/imo].”