Know Yourself Grow Yourself: Choosing Joy

(א) בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר, אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קיט) מִכָּל מְלַמְּדַי הִשְׂכַּלְתִּי כִּי עֵדְוֹתֶיךָ שִׂיחָה לִּי. אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי טז) טוֹב אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם מִגִּבּוֹר וּמשֵׁל בְּרוּחוֹ מִלֹּכֵד עִיר. אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קכח) יְגִיעַ כַּפֶּיךָ כִּי תֹאכֵל אַשְׁרֶיךָ וְטוֹב לָךְ. אַשְׁרֶיךָ, בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה. וְטוֹב לָךְ, לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא...

(1) Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from every man, as it is said: “From all who taught me have I gained understanding” (Psalms 119:99). Who is mighty? He who subdues his [evil] inclination, as it is said: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32). Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot, as it is said: “You shall enjoy the fruit of your labors, you shall be happy and you shall prosper” (Psalms 128:2)...

What does it mean to be happy with what you have?

How does that interact with feelings of loss or lack?

(א) מִצְוָה גְּדוֹלָה לִהְיוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה תָּמִיד, וּלְהִתְגַּבֵּר לְהַרְחִיק הָעַצְבוּת וְהַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה בְּכָל כֹּחוֹ.

(1) It is a great mitzvah to always be happy, and to make every effort to determinedly keep depression and gloom at bay.

Do you think it's reasonable to try and always be happy?

Rebbe Nachman says l'hiyot *b simcha, not "l'hiyot sameach". Is there a difference from "being in/with happiness" and "being happy"?

(ב) עַל־פִּי מָשָׁל, שֶׁלִּפְעָמִים כְּשֶׁבְּנֵי־אָדָם שְׂמֵחִים וּמְרַקְּדִים, אֲזַי חוֹטְפִים אִישׁ אֶחָד מִבַּחוּץ, שֶׁהוּא בְּעַצְבוּת וּמָרָה שְׁחֹרָה, וּמַכְנִיסִים אוֹתוֹ בְּעַל־כָּרְחוֹ לְתוֹךְ מְחוֹל הַמְרַקְּדִים, וּמַכְרִיחִים אוֹתוֹ בְּעַל־כָּרְחוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה שָׂמֵחַ עִמָּהֶם גַם־כֵּן;

(ג) כֵּן יֵשׁ בְּעִנְיַן הַשִּׂמְחָה. כִּי כְּשֶׁאָדָם שָׂמֵחַ, אֲזַי הַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה וְיִסּוּרִים נִסְתַּלְּקִים מִן הַצַּד.

(2) An analogy: Sometimes, when people are happy and dance, they grab someone standing outside [the circle] who is depressed and gloomy. Against his will they bring him into the circle of dancers; against his will, they force him to be happy along with them.

(3) It is the same with happiness. When a person is happy, gloom and suffering stand aside.

(ד) אֲבָל מַעְלָה יְתֵרָה – לְהִתְאַמֵּץ לִרְדֹּף אַחַר הַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה דַּוְקָא, לְהַכְנִיס אוֹתָהּ גַם־כֵּן בְּתוֹךְ הַשִּׂמְחָה, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁהַמָּרָה שְׁחוֹרָה בְּעַצְמָהּ תִּתְהַפֵּךְ לְשִׂמְחָה. שֶׁיְּהַפֵּךְ הַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה וְכָל הַיִּסּוּרִין לְשִׂמְחָה, כְּדֶרֶךְ הַבָּא לְתוֹךְ הַשִּׂמְחָה, שֶׁאָז מִגֹּדֶל הַשִּׂמְחָה וְהַחֶדְוָה מְהַפֵּךְ כָּל הַדְּאָגוֹת וְהָעַצְבוּת וְהַמָּרָה שְׁחוֹרוֹת שֶׁלּוֹ לְשִׂמְחָה. נִמְצָא שֶׁחוֹטֵף הַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה וּמַכְנִיס אוֹתָהּ בְּעַל־כָּרְחָהּ לְתוֹךְ הַשִּׂמְחָה, כַּמָּשָׁל הַנַּ"ל.

(4) Yet greater still is to gather courage to actually pursue gloom, and to introduce it into the joy, such that the gloom itself turns into joy. A person should transform gloom and all suffering into joy. It is like a person who comes to a celebration. The abundant joy and happiness then, transforms all his worries, depression and gloom into joy. We find that he has grabbed the gloom and introduced it, against its will, into the joy, as in the aforementioned analogy.

Reflection question: Can you think of a time that you were sad or upset and your managed to find happiness? What changed? Who was involved?

(יד) בְּי֤וֹם טוֹבָה֙ הֱיֵ֣ה בְט֔וֹב וּבְי֥וֹם רָעָ֖ה רְאֵ֑ה גַּ֣ם אֶת־זֶ֤ה לְעֻמַּת־זֶה֙ עָשָׂ֣ה הָֽאֱלֹקִ֔ים עַל־דִּבְרַ֗ת שֶׁלֹּ֨א יִמְצָ֧א הָֽאָדָ֛ם אַחֲרָ֖יו מְאֽוּמָה׃

(14) So in a time of good fortune enjoy the good fortune Literally "be in the good"; and in a time of misfortune, reflect: The one no less than the other was God’s doing; consequently, man may find no fault with Him.

(ה) רַבִּי תַּנְחוּם בְּרַבִּי חִיָּא פָּתַח (קהלת ז, יד): בְּיוֹם טוֹבָה הֱיֵה בְטוֹב וּבְיוֹם רָעָה רְאֵה [כי] גַּם אֶת זֶה לְעֻמַּת זֶה עָשָׂה הָאֱלֹקִים, אִם בָּאת רָעָה לַחֲבֵרְךָ רְאֵה הֵיאַךְ לְזַכּוֹת בּוֹ וּלְפַרְנְסוֹ כְּדֵי שֶׁתְּקַבֵּל מַתַּן שְׂכָרוֹ. כָּךְ הָיָה רַבִּי תַּנְחוּם בְּרַבִּי חִיָּא עוֹשֶׂה בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁאִמּוֹ לוֹקַחַת לוֹ לִיטְרָא אַחַת שֶׁל בָּשָׂר מִן הַשּׁוּק הָיְתָה לוֹקַחַת לוֹ שְׁתַּיִם, אַחַת לוֹ וְאַחַת לָעֲנִיִּים, עַל שׁוּם גַּם אֶת זֶה לְעֻמַּת זֶה עָשָׂה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא עֲנִיִּים וַעֲשִׁירִים כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּהוּ זָכִין אֵלּוּ לָאֵלּוּ, לְפִיכָךְ משֶׁה מַזְהִיר לְיִשְׂרָאֵל וְכִי יָמוּךְ אָחִיךָ.

(5) Rabbi Tanḥum ben Rabbi Ḥiyya began: “On a day of good, enjoy, and on a day of bad, see: God made this corresponding to that” (Ecclesiastes 7:14). If misfortune befell another, see how you can benefit him and sustain him in order to receive reward. So would Rabbi Tanḥum ben Rabbi Ḥiyya do when his mother would purchase a litra of meat from the market; she would purchase two for him, one for him, and one for the poor, on the basis of: “This corresponding to that” – the Holy One blessed be He made the poor and the wealthy so that they would benefit each other. Therefore, Moses cautions them: “If your brother will become poor.”

(טו) שִׁבְעַ֣ת יָמִ֗ים תָּחֹג֙ לַה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֔יךָ בַּמָּק֖וֹם אֲשֶׁר־יִבְחַ֣ר ה׳ כִּ֣י יְבָרֶכְךָ֞ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֗יךָ בְּכֹ֤ל תְּבוּאָֽתְךָ֙ וּבְכֹל֙ מַעֲשֵׂ֣ה יָדֶ֔יךָ וְהָיִ֖יתָ אַ֥ךְ שָׂמֵֽחַ׃

(15) You. shall hold a festival for your God seven days, in the place that God will choose; for your God ה׳ will bless allyour crops and all your undertakings, and you shall have nothing but joy.

What makes Sukkot joyful? What might prevent it from being joyful?

How can we lean in to the Jewish Calendar to choose joy?