Parshat Vayeitzei (Gn. 28:10-32:3)––“and he came out”––follows Jacob as he leaves his home and seeks a spouse. In this transitional period, he has a revelation in an unexpected place. During Torah Queeries, we will study Jacob’s coming out story and the ways in which it illuminates our own revelations of queerness.
Blessing for Torah Study
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu la'asok b’divrei Torah. Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who hallows us with mitzvot, charging us to engage with words of Torah.
Beginning with Our Own Torah
1) Imagine a moment when you experienced a revelation. It could be a time when you came up with an idea, when you discovered information, or when you realized that you or another person is queer. What did you feel?
2) What is queer revelation? Is it possible to plan or expect revelation?
Coming Out
Questions to consider: What do the messengers of God reveal to Jacob? If they could reveal anything, what do you wish they would reveal?
(10) Jacob came out of Beer-sheba, and set out for Haran. (11) He came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place. (12) He had a dream; a stairway (or ramp; ladder) was set on the ground and its top reached to the sky, and messengers of God were going up and down on it. (13) And standing beside him was ה׳, who said, “I am ה׳, the God of your father Abraham’s [house] and the God of Isaac’s [house]: the ground on which you are lying I will assign to you and to your offspring. (14) Your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All the families of the earth shall bless themselves by you and your descendants. (15) Remember, I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
"And Jacob Came Out…(Parashat Vayetzei)" by Maggid Jhos Singer, Keshet (2006)
Do you remember the first moment you stumbled out of the closet? I don’t mean the first moment that you privately realized you were queer (and by ‘queer’ here I mean whatever differentness you might manifest that isn’t readily apparent to a casual observer), or even when you first acted on your queer tendencies. What I’m thinking of is the first moment that you actually stood in the light of day, as it were, being totally out—just you showing up fully, unhidden, true. You know, your first Meg Christian concert or the first time you marched in an LGBT Pride Parade, the first time you wore a yarmulke/kippah out in the general public, or the first time you corrected a stranger who assumed you were something that you’re not. Thrilling wasn’t it? Scary, but really incredible, right? I remember feeling broken open and alive in a way that was totally new, awesome, and powerful. While it feels kind of corny to admit it, it really was a spiritual experience. For many of us, this first coming out happens in the most unlikely of places...
Not Knowing
Questions to consider: How and why is Jacob's revelation unexpected?
(16) Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely ה׳ is present in this place, and I did not know it!” (17) Shaken, he said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God, and that is the gateway to heaven.”
ואנכי לא ידעתי AND I KNEW IT NOT — for had I known it I would not have slept in such a holy place as this.
ואנכי לא ידעתי, if I had realised the special distinction of this site I would have prepared myself mentally for receiving these Divine insights.
Setting Up a Pillar
Questions to consider: What does the pillar represent to Jacob? If we imagine this story as a queer coming out story, what might the pillar represent?
(18) Early in the morning, Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on the top of it. (19) He named that site Bethel; but previously the name of the city had been Luz. (20) Jacob then made a vow, saying, “If God remains with me, protecting me on this journey that I am making, and giving me bread to eat and clothing to wear, (21) and I return safe to my father’s house— ה׳ shall be my God. (22) And this stone, which I have set up as a pillar, shall be God’s abode; and of all that You give me, I will set aside a tithe for You.”
שהיה עוסק בתורה כשיצא מבית אביו. בשכבך תשמור עליך, אימתי ויקח מאבני המקום וישם מראשותיו וישכב במקום ההוא (בראשית כח יא). היה הוא שוכב והיתה היא משמרתו. והקיצות היא תשיחך. אימתי וייקץ יעקב משנתו (שם שם טז).
When [Jacob] took the stones of the place and placed them under his head and lay down in that place (Genesis 28:11), he was lying down and Torah was guarding him...when Jacob woke up from his sleep (Genesis 28:16), Torah was speaking with him.
חזר יעקב ללקט את האבנים ומצאן אחת לקח יעקב את האבן ושם אותה מצבה בתוך המקום וירד לו שמן מן השמים ויצק עליה שנאמר ויצק שמן על ראשה. מה עשה הקב"ה נטל רגל ימינו וטבע אותה עד עומק תהומות ועשה אותה סניף לארץ כאדם שהוא נותן סניף לכיפה. לפיכך נקראת אבן שתיה ששם טבור הארץ ומשם נפתחה כל הארץ ועליה היכל ה׳...
Jacob took the stone and placed it as a monument in the midst of the place and oil descended from heaven for him and he pour it out on the stone, as it says “…and he poured oil on top of it” (Genesis 28:18). What did the Holy One do? He took its right foot, sank it to the deepest depths and made it a keystone for the earth, like a man who places a keystone in an arch. Therefore it is called foundation stone, because there is the navel of the world and from there the world was opened out. And upon it is the palace of God...
Ending with Our Own Torah
1) Think back to the moment you experienced a revelation. How did you respond? How do you or don't you relate to Jacob's response?
2) How might revelation impact queer people today?