Parshas Vayetzei is typically when we focus on Yaakov Avinu, the third and 'final' of our patriarchs. In our highly symbolized relationship with our forefathers, each one represents a step in the evolution of Judaism.
This story is an example of how we can understand Avraham as the embodiment of chesed. Despite Hashem making it too hot for travelers so that he could heal from his bris, Avraham was pained that there was nobody he could host. His entire being was for the sake of chesed.
We can also understand the shortcomings of being rooted only in chesed. Chesed is giving without restraint; it is the focus of giving from 'above' without thought of what needs to come from below. For instance, Avraham 'gave' his son Yitzchak to Hashem, arguably causing the death of his wife and destruction of his relationship with his son. An act of chesed in a technical sense, yet clearly flawed. Kabbalistically, we could understand Chesed as Ohr -- light -- without container. A blinding ray which is difficult to use for a productive purpose, even if well-intended.
As a final example of the limitations of Avraham's Chesed, let's look at his treaty with the selfish and greedy King Avimelech:
Avraham does not "change" King Avimelech in any meaningful way in this peace treaty. Though the epitome of kindness, this kindness is not able to transform the wicked into the holy. The best it can do is make peace with evil.
In comparison to his father Avraham, whose life was defined by expansion because of his journey across the region spreading knowledge and love of Hashem, Yitzhak stayed in one place for his entire life. This is demonstrated by the above pasuk - he davened alone in the field rather than with others. He spent his days studying Torah and developing his own middos -- personal attributes. He understood that after the initial outburst of his father, a generation of internal contemplation was necessary. Expansion and contraction.
Of course, due to this lifestyle, he also did not affect change on the world. Rather, he prepared himself so that his successor, Yaakov, could harmonize his approach with Avraham's.
Yaakov sets off for the relatively unholy land of Charan, home of the wicked and manipulative Laban. In this way, he seems similar to Avraham, setting off to spread knowledge and love of Hashem.
But before he leaves, he spends 14 years studying Torah! In this way he was similar to his father Yitzhak.
We understand Yaakov to represent the attribute of Tiferes - harmony. He understands that chesed/kindness/light from 'above' also requires gevurah/strength/order from 'below'. He roots himself in Torah [Gevurah], and then goes Charan to work for Laban for little pay for 20 long years [Chesed].
In Kabbalah, we understand "Bread" to represent Torah and "Clothing" to represent our Mitzvos (good deeds). Yaakov understands that in the exile of Charan, he will require a rooting in gevurah in order to live a life of chesed. This is the meaning of Tiferes - a productive synthesis which enables us to remain rooted to Hashem in the work of exile.
Yaakov's attribute of Tiferes is why he merits to see the Ladder:
While we could discuss this one pasuk for a lifetime, in short it describes the way in which Hashem interacts with creation. The interplay of movement upwards (our actions) and responses from above downwards (Hashem's response) is what creates miracles. Hashem acts in response to our actions.
With the understanding that this month of Kislev is related to Yaakov as the third month, and Chanukah thus is also related to Yaakov/Tiferes, we can understand better what the miracle of the oil comes to teach us in these difficult days.
If the light of a candle represents the glow of Hashem illuminating our dark lives, the oil is our deeds which we prolong the light with. By destroying our oil, the Greeks sought to sever our rooting, to force us to assimilate into wider society by preventing our way of life.
History is self-referencing, and today we have our own 'Greeks' (Fascists, Zionists, Bigots) attempting to cut us off from a holy way of life. This 'oil' could be the freedom to live Jewishly without contributing to genocide, and it can also more literally be the life-giving oil within our vials of hormones which so many of us rely on. In attempting to force us down a dark path (Judaism as ethno-fascism, detransition), we are always reliving this sacking of the second temple.
How do we respond? Despite the wretched desecration of that which connects us to the Eternal Source, the Maccabees searched for a single vial of oil. Their rooting in gevurah/Torah -- understanding that to use substandard oil was not an option -- and in chesed/Action -- understanding that Hashem responds when we act -- is the true miracle of Chanukah. That the lamp burned for 8 days is as much a miracle that after the humiliation at the hands of the Greeks, the Maccabees took it upon themselves to search for oil for a single day.
We can't be only like Avraham - Setting out into this dark world without a strong rooting in community, tradition, and tactics. We also cannot only mirror Yitzhok - armchair theorists and doomsday prepping helps nobody. Instead, we need to synthesize these approaches as did Yaakov.
Trans people, and especially trans Jews, contain immense potential for transforming this world to good. We are most effective when we are in community, united by shared values and ways of action. Events like this are limited but crucial - we recharge and learn together in preparation for the work we do every single day.
I encourage each of you to think about how you balance your attributes. How do you make sure that when you're working on yourself, you don't lose sight of the good you are able to do in the world? When you're in the world, how do you ensure that your morals are not compromised?
May each of us continue seeking and finding those precious small vials of oil. In doing so, we are practically guaranteed an eightfold reciprocation from on-high. The miracle is up to us.