Vayishlach 5785 Esau's kiss: an affiliative and healing act: "Righteousness and peace have kissed"

וַׄיִּׄשָּׁׄקֵ֑ׄהׄוּׄ - and he [Esau] kissed him [Jacob]

In a sefer torah, and here on Sefaria, this word - וַׄיִּׄשָּׁׄקֵ֑ׄהׄוּׄ (vayishkeyhu) - "and he kissed him" - has six extra markings, one above each letter: these are called puncta extraordinaria - extraordinary points.

Whenever I see marks like this in Tanakh, they catch my eye, grab my attention, and summon me to pay particular attention to the word (or in some cases, words) that they are gracing.

What could these markings mean? What are they meant to indicate or suggest?

Why is this one word in our parsha - וַׄיִּׄשָּׁׄקֵ֑ׄהׄוּׄ - pointed in this extraordinary way? particularly when we consider that there are only fourteen instances of puncta extraordinaria

in the entire Tanakh, nine of which are in the Torah, of which our example from Parashat Vayishlach is one of five occurrences in the Book of Genesis (ie, more than half of the occurrences in the Torah are in Genesis).

(Other occurrences in Genesis: 16:5, 18:9, 19:33, 37:12 [see below].)

The moment of this kiss occurs at a climactic and uncertain moment, when two brothers, steeped in decades of enmity and grievances, are about to meet again. Will they harm one another, as Jacob seems to anticipate. Or will there be another sort of outcome, one of affiliation and reconciliation?

Although it's unlikely that we will be able to arrive at a definitive conclusion in this exploration, nevertheless at this time - this week, this year, היום (hayom - today) - I am moved to explore what this extraordinarily pointed word in our parsha may have to teach us, about moving away from enmity towards affiliation.

This moment of this brotherly kiss is an intense, suspenseful and emotional one: the brothers have not seen each other for twenty-two years. Jacob had acceded to his and Esau's mother Rebecca in her plan that Jacob should disguise himself as Esau in order to deceive their father Isaac so that Isaac would bless Jacob rather than Esau (Parashat Toldot). The moment when Esau realizes that this has happened, and when their father Isaac says that there are no more blessings for Esau, is a dramatic and heart-rending one. Esau's piercing cry of despair should move all readers to empathize with him, were it not for the fact that there have been millinia of commentary that demonize Esau and elevate Jacob:

(Note the poignant irony: when we read "he [Esau] cried out with a great cry" - וַיִּצְעַ֣ק צְעָקָ֔ה - the word for "cry out" is a homonym with his father Isaac's name, yitzak.)

So here we have the "backstory" to the moment in Parashat Vayishlach, when Esau and Jacob will meet again. Decades earlier, in his inconsolable state, Esau had vowed that he would kill Jacob after their father eventually died. Jacob fled for his life to Padam Aram, to Laban's household, where he stayed for twenty-two years, working for Laban, eventually marrying and having children with two of Laban's daughters (Leah and Rachel) as well as having children with two female servants (one of both Rachel's and Leah's).

Now Jacob is returning to Canaan, and the prospect of encountering his brother causes him to be mortally terrified ["Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed" Genesis 32:7), for himself and his entire family traveling with him. To appease / propitiate Esau (Genesis 32:21 - אֲכַפְּרָה פָנָיו), Jacob takes a number of actions: he sends extravagant gifts to Esau, with instructions to present them in an obsequious manner; he strategically divides his entire party into two groups; and he prays.

When the brothers finally meet, Jacob likewise addresses his brother in self-abasing terms.

And then - our verse, when the brothers finally meet: Esau runs to Jacob, embraces him, falls on his neck, and kisses him - וַׄיִּׄשָּׁׄקֵ֑ׄהׄוּׄ - our specially marked word. And then, they - the both of them - weep; a moment of shared emotion, perhaps a grateful moment of relief, a release of decades of apprehension and enmity.

Is Esau's kiss a turning point, transforming an atmosphere of enmity, mutual resentment, hatred, vengeance, into one of affiliation and connecting love between brothers?

Some commentators suggest that these puncta extraordinaria are here to show that Esau's kiss was insincere, or even that rather than kissing Jacob, in this moment Esau is biting him. In Bamidbar Rabbah 3:13 we find: "it is dotted, because he did not kiss him with all his heart."

I do not find this line of argument convincing, for many reasons. A significant reason is: if we assume that his kiss was insincere, then wouldn't his embrace and "falling on [Jacob's] neck also have been insincere?

Also, I am inclined to attempt to filter out the millennia of negative commentary about Esau, and to strive to view him in a favorable, shalom-ful light.

What is kissing, between brothers? What is this sort of kissing, in the Tanakh?

In Tanakh, when we find this verb - √ישק - it usually means to kiss (although it also has meanings of to arrange / to adjust, and even to arm oneself - a contranymic semantic cloud).

Of the thirty-four occurrences in Tanakh, thirty of these indicate kissing. Just three of the thirty-four occurrences indicate the contranymic meaning, to arm / to rule, and one indicates touch [similar to "to kiss"].

The preponderance of these thirty occurrences meaning "to kiss" are - notably - not romantic kisses, but rather what I will call affiliative kisses - between brothers, family members, associates. One other instance in particular seems to me to resonate particularly strongly with Esau's kissing Jacob that we are studying. This is in Parashat Vayigash, when Joseph finally reveals himself to his brothers:

A number of other powerful examples in Tanakh of what I'm calling affiliative kissing:

As we consider the affiliative nature of such kisses, the kiss of peace in Christian practice comes to mind. Although an exploration of this kiss of peace is beyond the scope of this Sefaria sheet, it is important to acknowledge and include this consideration here.

In the case of Joseph and his brothers (Jacob's children), the scene and Joseph's kisses for his brothers (above, from Parashat Vayigash, Genesis 50:1) result in a rapprochement among the brothers, a lasting reunion.

In the case of Jacob and Esau however, despite the powerful moment of Esau's kiss and the two brothers' shared weeping, soon they will part, and remain in a persistently adversarial state. Rabbinic sources and subsequent centuries of commentary and tradition cast Esau in a negative light, including claiming that Esau is the ancestor of the Romans.

Esau - also known as Edom (red) - is said to be the progenitor of the Amalekites, and the Romans that is, the root of significant oppressors of the children of Israel.

Let's have a look at the other four verses in the Book of Genesis that include puncta extraordinaria; I suggest that they have traces of disaffiliation / affiliation:

This verse is part of the troubling narrative of the enmity between Sarai (Sarah) and Hagar, the mother of Ishmael.

What to make of these puncta extraordinaria in this word - אֵׄלָ֔יׄוׄ - to him [ie, to Abram] early in Parashat Vayera?

Possibly something here about connectivity: the message is for Sarai as well as for Abram, however the message is delivered explicitly only to Abram.

This verse, from Parashat Vayera, tells us about the troubling moment when Lot's two daughters - thinking that they and their father were the last remaining humans - decided to sexually assault their father (after getting him drunk), in order to become pregnant and thus perpetuate the human race. Troubling affiliation here.

This verse, from Parashat Vayeshev, will initiate the entire narrative of Joseph's brothers casting him into the pit and thus facilitating his being taken as a slave to Egypt - in other words, a pivotal moment in the narrative of the brothers' enmity and eventual re-affiliation.

For a discussion of the single instance of puncta exrtraordinaria in the Book of Deuteronomy (Parashat Nitzavim) please see my Sefaria sheet

Nitzavim x Psalm 27 / Elul 5784 Extraordinary points

https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/592685?lang=bi

Contention, vengeance, anger, violence, oppression.

Today, it is crucial that we explore paths to affiliation and wholeness - shalom - and attempt to shed our attachment to enmity and vengeance.

I suggest that at this moment, Esau's kiss in Genesis 33:4 can be a catalyst for healing, modeling how we might be moved to greet our adversary, one who has harmed us, with an affiliative kiss.

When we can do that, we will be living out the promise of this beautiful verse from Psalms: