(1) Some time later, the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt gave offense to their lord the king of Egypt. (2) Pharaoh was angry with his two courtiers, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker, (3) and put them in custody, in the house of the prefect, in the same prison house where Joseph was confined. (4) The prefect assigned Joseph to them, and he attended them. When they had been in custody for some time, (5) both of them—the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt, who were confined in the prison—dreamed in the same night, each his own dream and each dream with its own meaning. (6) When Joseph came to them in the morning, he saw that they were distraught.
This conversation, often overlooked in the drama of Yosef and his time in jail is remarkeable. It is not easy for those who imprisoned to see others as peopel with feelings and emotions. Often, others encoutered in jail are viewed a objects to be considerd / used one way or another for te incarcerated persion own survival. There is no emotional energy to spend on the neds of others when one is using all of their resources to survie physically and emotionally.
By the time Yosef addresses the cupbearer an bake Yosef has been elevated to a position of overseer. yet, despite his position, he does not lord it over them.
What is also notable about this is that Yosef's questions higlights his high levle of sensitivty. Yosef looks at their faces and notices that thye are distraught. e does not ffer a generic "how are you" or "Good morning", he zeros in on their expression, their body language.
All of this is in contrast to the Yosef we encouter earelier in the story. The Yosef who was not sensitive to the feelings of others.
Even before Yosef tells the brothers the specifics of his dream, the Torah records that his brothers hated him. Yet, he insists on telling thme the detaisl of the dream.
Immediatley, Yosef is confronted with just how much distres this dream causes the brother. yet, oblivious to that he insists of telling thme to contentrs of the second dream.
This does not sound like a sensitive Joseph. This episode paints a picture of a peron who cannot read the room. It is actually worse then that. Even when the brthers verbalize how upset they are, Yosef cannot hepl himself and mist share his dreams with them.
The Yosef we met in the dungeon then, tells us two stories. One, the story of almost a complete rehabiitation of his character - the transfromation of Yosef from an oblivious selfshih person to a caring man.
It is also the story of the art of noticing others - the ability to express concern for those around us who seem to be suffering.
What lead to Josephs transformation . It could be a matter maturity. He was a kid 17 at the time of his dreams, and according to some, spent 12 years in prision. I am sure that may of us would like to take back some decisions we made when we were 17.
Yosef's transformation can also be chalked up to expreience. As a result of Yosef's time as an invisible inmate he was sensitized to how others in a similar position felt.
(טו)... רַבִּי מַתְיָא בֶן חָרָשׁ אוֹמֵר, הֱוֵי מַקְדִּים בִּשְׁלוֹם כָּל אָדָם...
(15)...Rabbi Mathia ben Harash said: Upon meeting people, be the first to extend greetings to every person...
R. Yitz Greenberg highlights the importance of being the first to greet as opposed to waiting to be greeted. Perhaps he is focused on the term "kol adam" - every person witohit regard to their social status.
He says: being the first to greet deepends the greeting becasue it affirms the equality of the other. Since you are equal in my eyes (no matter how important my social status), I will speak first, lest you approach me as an inferior would approach a superior, asking for recognition."
In other words, recognition should never have to be sought...it should always be ofrered.
...הפותח בשלום, אצל זה נמצא השלום בעצם ובראשונה, שהרי הוא דורש ופותח בשלום. ולפיכך אמר 'הוי מקדים שלום לכל אדם', עד שנראה כי השלום אצל זה בעצם.
...הפותח בשלום, אף כי לא ידע כי יש לאחר שלום עמו, זה נקרא שהוא 'בעל שלום'.
...יש לו לרדוף השלום, וכאשר התחיל בשלום זה נקרא רדיפה, שהרי ממהר ומתחיל בשלום.
Maharal on Pirkei Avot 4:15
...the one who greets first, peace is found with him essentially and initially. For behold, he seeks [it] and greets first. Hence he said, "Be the first to greet every person," to the point that it is apparent that peace is with him essentially.
...one who begins a greeting - even though he does not know if the other one is at peace with him - is called a master of peace.
...Moreover, one must pursue peace; and when one begins the greeting, that is called pursuing. For behold, he is quick and begins the greeting.
Out task is to remember that there are others who walk this earth with us. and to realte and interact with them in a way that makes thme feel noticed for the unique person they are.
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman, when disucssing Mitzvot Ben Adam L'Chaveoiro, Mitzvot that govern interpersonal relationships, suggests thr the very purpose of those commandments is to help us transcend our innate self -centerdness.
These Mitzvot also help us and others combat lonliness. Everyone, at least at some point, experiecens lonliness. The truly take note of the other helps battle that lonliness. "The Torahs regulations teach us hoe to create bridges" between people - to connect them and make them one.
It is true that Joseph's question changed history as it lead to his release, his interpretation Pharoaoh's dream and his ascent to second in command in Egypt. Has he ignored the sadness of the prisoners, he may never havebeen releeased.
For the purposed of gleaning a purposeful message from this story - the Yosef we met in the dungeon then, tells us two stories. One, the story of alsmost a complete rehabiitation of his character - the transfromation of Yosef from an oblivious selfshih person to a caring man.
It is also the story of the art of noticing others - the ability to express concern for those around us who seem to be suffering.
* Based on a Dvar Torah by R. Emanuel Feldman in Biblical Questions, Spiritual Journeys. pg. 91-95