January 2025 - The Name of 42

The past week has been very intense both in Israel and in the United States. This post reflects the side of me which is always connected, for better and for worse, to what is happening in the Land of Israel.

Like a lot of my friends I am living in emotional whiplash between the joy, the tears, and the guilt of watching the hostages rejoin their families on one side, and the fear that Hamas or/and the Israeli government will blow up this agreement, get back to the war with all its casualties and leave the other hostages to die, with concern about the murderers being set free and the pain of the families of their victims thrown in for good measure.

As I have no “acting in the world” way to impact these processes, I am trying to respond by turning to God, strengthening my center, and working on changing myself.

I noticed at some point, that the 42 days allocated to the first stage of this agreement, are the same number as the 42 letter name of God. Generally speaking, in many of our traditions the name of 42 is thought of as the divine name of creation and transformation, the divine name of moving from one “world" to another. People not immersed in Kabbalah may have run into this name as part of Kabbalat Shabbat, when the piyyut “Ana B’ko’ah” which is structured around the 42 letters of the name, is chanted to help facilitate the transition from the world of the weekdays to the world of Shabbat.

I found in that synchronicity a gateway for prayer that this agreement survive, and that it hold within it a seed of change, so I have taken to saying “Ana B’ko’ah” with this intention, in my mind as I am falling asleep, and I hope to continue this throughout these 42 days.

It occurred to me, that there is a tiny niche of people for whom such a practice might be useful, so I am sharing here something of a ritual structure, with my own personal prayer before the piyyut of Ana B’ko’ah, and ending with Psalm 126 (which we generally treat as a celebratory song, but I think that careful reading of the text shows it to be a song of longing).

If any of this is useful for you, take whatever is meaningful and do something with it. And may God have mercy on us all.

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Ribbono shel Olam,

Please be with me in this difficult time.

When I can no longer put my trust in human beings, help me put my trust in You. Help me trust that You do your work through human beings, even when they are broken, even when they are overwhelmed, even when they are scared and angry and arrogant, even when they cross over to the side of evil, even when they are not worthy.

Ribbono shel Olam, rivers of blood have flown again in your Holy Land as your children killed each other. But now they have reached an agreement which may allow them to end this battle though not the war, and which would allow some prisoners and captives to return to their families and loved ones.

Ribbono shel Olam, You know who was captured and locked up though they had done no wrong, and who was locked up so that they would not shed more innocent blood. But like the ancient priests who stood on the temple walls as they began to burn, we too throw the keys upwards, and say – take these from us, for we have failed You, may You do what is right in your eyes. Please have compassion on all those who are living, and on those who have died. Give strength and hope for peace to all who are suffering, and bring families back together.

Ribbono Shel Olam, I look at this agreement and it does not seem to be constructed on foundations of trust, or justice, or even hope. Mostly it seems to have been born of an alignment of both side’s despair and sinister plans for the future. But you do your work even through the most broken of vessels, and we can keep trying to slip slivers of hope and trust into the smallest cracks of the harsh facade. How could I not cry when I watched these daughters fall into their mothers’ arms after more than a year in which they did not know if they were alive or dead? How could I not feel the tiniest glimmer of hope?

Ribbono shel Olam, the first stage of this agreement is set to last 42 days, the same number as the number of letters in your holy name of creation. Are You reminding us that even now, even this could be an opening to a new world?

Please,

Save us from those who see only the path of destruction, and from the places within that resonate with that vision.

Save us from those who see only the path of destruction as the way to life, and from the places within that resonate with that vision.

Save us from those who see only their own pain and only the evil of others, and from the places within that resonate with that vision.

Help me see the power of Your creation in every moment.

As I chant the letters of your holy name, help me bring your ongoing power of transformation into my heart, and give myself to the forces of creation in your world. May remembering your holy name of creation and transformation help make my life part of the forces of life and growth in the world, and help me not to contribute to destruction.

Please, with the great power of your love, release the bound.

אָנָּא בְּכֹחַ גְּדֻלַּת יְמִינֶךָ תַּתִּיר צְרוּרָה.

קַבֵּל רִנַּת עַמְּךָ, שַׂגְּבֵנוּ טַהֲרֵנוּ נוֹרָא.

נָא גִבּוֹר, דּוֹרְשֵׁי יִחוּדֶךָ כְּבָבַת שָׁמְרֵם.

בָּרְכֵם, טַהֲרֵם, רַחֲמֵי צִדְקָתֶךָ תָּמִיד גָּמְלֵם.

חֲסִין, קָדוֹשׁ, בְּרֹב טוּבְךָ נַהֵל עֲדָתֶךָ.

יָחִיד, גֵּאֶה, לְעַמְּךָ פְּנֵה, זוֹכְרֵי קְדֻשָּׁתֶךָ.

שַׁוְעָתֵנוּ קַבֵּל וּשְׁמַע צַעֲקָתֵנוּ יוֹדֵעַ תַּעֲלוּמוֹת.

בָּרוּךְ שֵׁם כְּבוֹד מַלְכוּתוֹ לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד.