Adoption and the Conversion of Children

Biblical Examples of Adoption

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Genesis. Jacob has married the sisters Rachel and Leah, and while Leah gets pregnant easily at first, Rachel does not. In some ways, this text shows two examples of surrogate pregnancies, with a womb and egg donation. Rachel and Leah both show traits of adoptive parents in terms of getting to name the children.

Context: This is from the end of the Biblical Book of Genesis. Jacob is dying, and he adopts the sons of Joseph, Ephraim and Menashe, to be counted among his own children. This would be a Biblical example of grandparent adoption.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Exodus, after the Israelites have been enslaved by the Egyptians. We see that Moses’s mother can not keep her child, and Pharaoh’s daughter adopts him as her son. This is one of the clearest examples of adoption in the Bible.

Context: This is from Leviticus Rabba, a book of Rabbinic expoundment on the Biblical Book of Leviticus. Here, in a discussion about the first verse of Leviticus, we get into a conversation about other names that Moses might have gone by based on a verse in I Chronicles. Since the verse in 1 Chronicles mentions a daughter of Pharaoh named “Bitya”, and the only other mention of a daughter of Pharaoh having children is Moses’s adopted mother, the Rabbis put two and two together to conclude that Moses’s adoptive mother was named “Bitya”, meaning “daughter of G-d”. They then imagine G-d saying that because Pharaoh’s daughter adopted Moses, G-d was “adopting” her. This is a very pro-adoption text from Jewish tradition.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Leviticus, in a section about forbidden relationships. The fact that it says “your sister”, and then says “born outside the household”, could be logically read as a sister adopted by your parents.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Numbers, in the first census section. Oddly, only Aaron’s children are mentioned, even though it is said to be the line of Aaron and Moses.

Context: Rashi (1040-1105) was a French commentator on the Bible and Talmud. Citing the Talmud (Sanhedrin 19b:17), Rashi explains that Moses taught Aaron’s sons, so it was as though they were his too.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Second Samuel. After a marital spat, Michal and David never reconcile and never get to the point of having children.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Second Samuel. There was a famine during the time of King David, and it seemed to be because G-d was displeased with how King Saul had treated the Gibeonites. To make things right, David had some of Saul's descendants put to death. Michal was Saul's daughter, so her sons were Saul's grandchildren. However, per the previous text, Michal didn't have any children at all.

Context: This is from the Babylonian Talmud, Masechet (Tractate) Sanhedrin, which is about the justice system. One of the aspects of hat topic was a question about how kings interacted with the courts. In discussing that, the conversation turned to whom kings could marry, giving Michal as an example. The Rabbis notice the contradiction in the previous two texts, and given that Michal's sister Merav was the one who was married to Adriel (1 Samuel 18:19), they say that Michal adopted her sister's children after Merav died. This text from the Talmud becomes key for the question of the Hebrew name of adoptees.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Esther. In a very clear example of adoption in the Bible, Mordechai adopts his much younger cousin, Hadassah / Esther. Note that this appears to be an example of single-parent adoption. Some Jewish social services agencies will run support groups for adoptive families called "Project Esther".

Rabbinic Texts About Adoption

Context: This is from the Babylonian Talmud, Masechet (Tractate) Megillah, which is about the story of Purim. In a discussion about how Mordechai was called "Ha-Yehudi", a verse from 1 Chronicles is brought in where a woman named "Ha-Yehudiyah" is mentioned. That verse ends with talking about "Bitya, the daughter of Pharaoh". The Rabbis say that all of the children ascribed to this woman are the same as Moses, thus bringing us to our text.

Context: This is from the Babylonian Talmud, Masechet (Tractate) Ketubot, which is about marriage contracts and the obligations that come therefrom. One of the points made in this tractate was developed at Usha, and this leads to discussion of other things that were taught at Usha, such as this text. This text is a very pro-adoption text in the Talmud.

Context: This is from Exodus / Shemot Rabba, a book of Rabbinic expoundment on the verses in Exodus. This comes from a commentary about the Thirteen Attributes, where G-d says that G-d will be gracious to whomever G-d wants to be gracious to. The rest of this text says that there's a large storeroom of reward for people who are undeserving but G-d chooses to reward them anyway. According to this text, those who adopt children are particularly deserving of Divine reward.

Other Relevant Texts Connected to Adoption

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Genesis, from the Sixth Day of Creation. G-d told the first humans to "be fruitful and multiply". Couples who struggle with fertility are released from commandments that they cannot fulfill; according to some, adoption can be a way to fulfill this commandment.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Deuteronomy, from a section known as "the V'Ahavta". Teaching your children about Judaism is not obligatory for people who are infertile and unable to fulfill this commandment, but adoption is one way around that. Once somebody has adopted a child, this then becomes obligatory for them to fulfill.

Context: This is from Maimonides (1138-1204)’s Mishneh Torah, where he reorganized the Talmud and took out the discussions so it was easier to find the bottom line of what to do. This text is relevant to the topic of Adoption because adoption outside of Israel usually involves adding a soul to the Jewish people, and Maimonides thinks this is a good thing.

The Conversion Process for Adoptees

Do Children Born to Non-Jewish Birth Mothers Need to Go Through the Conversion Process?

Yes. The status of a birth mother determines whether a child is born as a Jew (Yevamot 23a:7).

HOWEVER, if the child is being raised as a Jew, then it is better to consider this an Affirmation Ceremony rather than a Conversion Ceremony, because we are merely affirming the parents' intent to raise the child as a Jew. This language is particularly helpful for adoptive parents when the child is still very young and didn't have time to be raised in a different religion from which they need to be "converted".

How do We Know if an Adoptee Requires the Affirmation/Conversion Process?

If records of birth parents are not sealed, then the rabbi should be able to investigate (either directly or through the adopting parents) whether there’s any indication of whether the birth mother is Jewish. If it is impossible to tell, then the Mishnah teaches that if a child of unknown parentage comes from a community with a majority of non-Jews, the child can be assumed to have a non-Jewish birth mother (Mishnah Makhshirin 2:7).

When Should Affirmation/Conversion Happen?

On the one hand, it should be as young as possible, because sometimes older children develop a fear of bodies of water (like swimming pools). On the other hand, it will be least complicated if it happens after the adoption process is completed. It may be necessary to ask the (non-Jewish) court for permission if starting the affirmation / conversion process before the adoption process is completed.

What are the Steps of Affirmation/Conversion for an Adopted Child?

Adopted children, like all who go through the conversion process, need to have a ritual circumcision if male, immerse in the mikvah regardless of gender, and accept the commandments upon themselves.

Are there any Differences in the Circumcision Process for Adopted Boys?

The only difference is in the blessings. The blessing is Baruch ata…asher kidshanu…limol et geirim (“Praised are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us through Divine commandments and commanded us to circumcise (male) converts.”). The usual blessing of Baruch ata…asher kidshanu…l’hachniso bivrito shel Avraham Avinu (“Praised are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us through Divine commandments and commanded us to enter him into the covenant of Abraham our ancestor”) isn’t said because it’s a mitzvah to circumcise converts but not to make them in the first place.

Also, there’s a different blessing said after the circumcision over a cup of wine: ברוך אתה … אשר קדשנו במצותיו וציונו למול את הגרים ולהטיף מהם דם ברית שאלמלא דם בריתלא נתקיימו שמים וארץ שנאמר לא ברותי יומם ולילה חוקות שמים וארץ לא שמתי. ברוך אתה ה, כורת הברית

Blessed are you ... who commanded us to circumcise converts, to draw the blood of the covenant for if it were not for the blood of the covenant, the heavens and the earth would not exist, as it is written, If it were not for my covenant, I would not have made day and night, nor the laws of heaven and earth.

Ideally this circumcision is done before a Beit Din of three experts, but if that can’t be done then you need to witnesses to sign written testimony to the Beit Din that this happened. The mohel (ritual circumcisor) can be one of the witnesses, but the adopting parents can not count for this. If the mohel knows in advance they can try to arrange for somebody else to count as a witness, or the parents can find a (Jewish) non-related witness to count.

Can the Circumcision Happen When the Boy is Eight Days Old?

Yes. However, it should be clear that this is a conversionary circumcision and not one where the birth mother was Jewish (which presumably invited guests would know). Also, in this case you would not do this circumcision on Shabbat if that was when the boy was eight days old.

What if the Boy was Circumcised in the Hospital?

If a boy was circumcised already, but not for Jewish purposes, then a drop of blood is drawn by a mohel (ritual circumcisor). This is called a “hatafat dam”.

How Does Immersion Work?

The parent(s) take the child to the mikvah in the presence of a Beit Din of 3 Jewish experts. If applicable, this is after the circumcision has healed. The child is undressed, while the parent is in a bathing suit. There is a difference of opinion of whether and when blessings should be said, but many would argue that the parent says the blessing “Baruch ata…asher kidshanu… al hat’vila” (“Praised are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us through Divine commandments and commanded us regarding immersion”). Then the child is fully immersed in the water, without hands supporting them, for just a second, before being taken out of the water and comforted. It is a good idea to blow in the baby’s face right before immersing them, as this makes them hold their breath. The parent(s) then say “Baruch ata..Shehechiyanu v’kiy’manu v’higi-anu lazman hazeh” (“Praised are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who has kept us alive, and sustained us, and brought us to this time.”).

Context: This is a family’s experience with immersing their daughter. Although it’s not an adoption situation, the process is the same. For more of an overview of taking an infant to the mikveh, see: https://www.mayyimhayyim.org/conversion-affirmation/conversion-for-a-child/

Is There a Certificate Like for Conversion of Adults?

Some communities will have the Beit Din and parents (and adoptee, if over the age of Bar/t-Mitzvah) fill out a “Teudat Immutz”. There are slightly different versions if the adoptee is of the age of majority and thus able to accept Judaism upon themself at that time.

When Does the Child Receive Their Hebrew Name?

Usually the child receives their Hebrew name after immersion in a mikvah. This makes it clear that at this point the child has completed all the steps they need to do at this point. However, sometimes the Hebrew name is given after a circumcision. A formal baby naming ceremony could be done after immersion, particularly for a girl, though regardless of gender it would be appropriate for the name to be given publicly at an aliyah to the Torah.

What Format Does an Adoptee’s Hebrew Name Take?

People who are born to Jewish parents have a Hebrew name format of “First name” (“Middle name”) son/daughter of “Parent(s) Hebrew name(s)”. People who convert have a Hebrew name format of “First name” (“Middle name”) son/daughter of “Abraham and Sarah” (Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 129:20). Non-Jewish children who are adopted and converted by Jewish parents use the first format, with their adoptive parents’ Hebrew names going after “son/daughter of”. This is because the Talmud says “Anybody who adopts and raises a child is as if they gave birth to them” (Megillah 13a:5, Sanhedrin 19b:13) (See also Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 42:15). If a child had Jewish birth parents, they would keep their birth parents’ names as part of their Hebrew name (A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice, p. 437)

What if the Adoptive Father is a Kohen or Levi?

Aaron, Moses' brother, was the first "Kohen", priest. His sons became "Kohanim", priests. Their sons served as Kohanim, and so on. Daughters of these families were considered "bat-Kohen", "daughter of a priest", and they got to eat the priestly tithes. However, if they married a non-priest, then their children did not get to eat the priestly tithes (and neither did they once they moved out of their father's house).

Aaron's cousins, who were also descended from Jacob's son Levi, became "levites", or "assistant priests". The same deal happened with their male and female descendants as happened to the Kohanim.

This all shows why "Kohen" and "Levi" status pass through the father. A daughter becomes "bat-Kohen" or "bat-Levi", but she doesn't pass on that status to her descendants.

Thus, if a son or daughter of a Kohen / Levi becomes an orphan and is adopted by a non-Kohen / Levi, they still retain their status passed on by their birth father.

Similarly, if a Kohen or Levi adopts a child, that child does not pick up the "Kohen" or "bat-Kohen" status (unless they were already born with it).

Any child whose biological father is not a Kohen or a Levi becomes a "Yisrael".

When a child's biological father is known to be not Jewish, the child becomes Yisrael.

If a child's biological father is known to be Jewish but there is no way of ascertaining if he is a Kohen or a Levi, then the child is assumed to be Yisrael since that is what the vast majority of Jews are.

When an adopted child takes on their adoptive parents’ Hebrew names as part of their own, it is considered best practice to not append “HaKohen” or “HaLevi” to their adoptive father’s Hebrew name so that nobody will be confused and think that the child also retains that status, though some would say otherwise.

For an examination of how this affects the children of single parents by choice, see: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/2023-03/grossman-art.pdf

Can Adoptive Parents Give a Hebrew Name Based on Their Own Ancestors?

Yes. This is one more way of anchoring the child in a Jewish family that has chosen to embrace the child and bring them into their family tree.

They can’t. The conversion isn’t technically complete until they choose to go through a Bar/Bat/B’nai Mitzvah ceremony (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 268:8). However, until such point, they have done all they can, so they are treated as if they are fully Jewish. This can be an emotionally fraught moment for adoptive parents, so it is helpful to know that once the child says the Torah Blessings at their ceremony, they have "accepted the commandments". Parents (and clergy) do not have to have a conversation with the child about "Do you want to have a Bar/Bat/B'nai-Mitzvah ceremony?"

Beyond the Affirmation / Conversion Process, How Can the Adoption Itself be Ritually Recognized?

The easiest way is through an aliyah to the Torah, preferably after the affirmation / conversion has finished (and presumably after the legal process has finished). This would be an opportunity for the clergy to give a Mi Shebeirach blessing, for the parents to explain their choice of Hebrew name, and for the parents and/or clergy to give the parental blessing to the child. Here is a Mi Shebeirach for an adoption, followed by another version of a clergy blessing from The Rabbi’s Manual.

For Further Reading

For more on the topic of conversions for adopted children, see: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19861990/reisner_conversion.pdf

For an overview of the process, see: https://www.kveller.com/article/converting-an-adopted-child/ and https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/converting-infants-and-children/

For more about adoption and Jewish aspects thereof, see: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/adoption_-_rabbi_nate_crane_-_final.pdf

Other Adoption-Related Questions

Does Raising Adopted Children Fulfill the Commandment of "Be Fruitful and Multiply"?

Yes.

Millions of people today have fertility issues, and half of them will not be successfully treated. Even Biblically, some women with fertility issues managed to have children through Divine intervention (Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Hannah), while others did not (Michal). A commandment can only be binding when one has the ability to obey (Nedarim 27a:7, Bava Kamma 28b:18, Avodah Zara 54a:3; Bava Kamma 84a:3-4, Hullin 12a:1, Niddah 67b:14). If one can not have children naturally, or with the aid of medical technology, then adoption would fulfill what G-d says to the first humans: "Be fruitful and multiply".

Moreover, some people choose adoption, not because they cannot procreate biologically, but for other social or emotional reasons. This path to family building, for whatever reason, is Jewishly viable and laudable.

Moreover, adoption can help a person fulfill their obligation to “Teach them [these rules about Judaism] to your children”.

Do Obligations of Parents and Children Apply with Adoptees?

Yes. Adopted children are required to honor their adoptive parents and to mourn for them. This is also true of their birth parents, if they know who they are.

Adoptive parents, like all parents, also have obligations to their children. According to the Talmud (Kiddushin 29b-30a), parents are to: 1. Circumcise male children. 2. Redeem firstborn male children (not applicable to adoptees). 3. Teach their children about Judaism. 4. Help their children get married. 5. Help their children prepare for a livelihood 6. Teach their children to swim.

​​​​​​​Should Children be Told Who Their Birth Families Are?

There is a Jewish value of "shmirat haguf", "guarding the body", which tells us that we should preserve health, including the health of our descendants. While there are many factors regarding if and when a child should be told who their birth parents are, one consideration in Jewish law is that if a child is not told by the time they are an adult, they might end up inadvertently marrying (or otherwise having sex with) one of their biological siblings. This raises the chance of genetic diseases in the next generation. While the odds of either of these are small, they can nonetheless be avoided by having an adopted child meet their birth family.

Additionally, having the adoptee open lines of communication with their birth family can help with knowing their medical history, as many conditions have a higher risk if you have (birth) family members who also have those conditions.

That being said, there might be emotional challenges that come up when meeting birth parents. Research, both online and in talking with other people in the adoptee community, can help with preparation, though every person's experience is their own. See here for one person's experience: https://www.yourtango.com/2015281175/eight-things-nobody-tells-you-about-meeting-your-birth-father

For more on this and other considerations around adoption see: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/dorff_artificial.pdf

Children Born to Surrogate Mothers / Gestational Carriers

The question of whether a child born to a surrogate mother is Jewish hinges on whether the birth mother is Jewish (though the Reform movement would say that if the biological father is Jewish and the child is being raised as a Jew, then the child is Jewish). It does not matter who the egg/ovum came from. See here for an examination of this topic: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/mackler_maternal.pdf (1997).

For further reading on this topic, here are some responsa from the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19861990/lincoln_surrogate.pdf (1984), https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/mackler_surrogate.pdf (1997), https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/spitz_surrogate.pdf (1997), https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/macklerspitz_surrogates.pdf (1997),

Children Born to Mothers Who Converted While Pregnant

If the mother converted to Judaism while pregnant, the child is Jewish. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 268:6).

There are some Talmudic texts that would seem to argue that there is some nuance to this question, which may have some bearing on the matter of when a Jewish woman who wants to become a parent has her egg (and her husband’s sperm) carried in a non-Jewish woman’s womb — see Mishnah Yevamot 11:2, Mishnah Ketubot 4:3, and Yevamot 42a.

Appendix A: One agency's take

Excerpt from: https://www.jewishledger.com/2014/01/partnering-with-heaven-jewish-adoption-in-connecticut/

After adopting their son, the Hoyts spent the first three weeks in Florida, where he had a joint brit milah-conversion ceremony.

There are many ways to approach the question of conversion when adopting a child. “If the birth mother was not Jewish, or if the religious identity of the birth mother is not known, the child would require halachic conversion to be considered Jewish,” says Rabbi Adler. “It is worth noting that Jewish adopting parents are not necessarily required to convert the child. Doing so would seem to make sense, but if there might be unique reasons why not converting the child would be preferable, then conversion is not imperative. Clearly, every decision should be based upon the best short- and long-term interests of the child. Adoption and conversion should always be first and foremost about the child.”

Rabbi Hesch Sommer, director of the Jewish Wellness and Healing Center of Greater New Haven, works with Rashba in the Stars of David program. Taking an adopted child through a conversion process depends on which of the Jewish denominations the family feels most comfortable with, he says, as each movement has slightly different conversion requirements.

While parents might consider brit-milah or tipat dam (taking a symbolic drop of blood from an older male child), a pediatrician should always be consulted to make sure that the child is able to cope with the procedure. Most adoptive parents give their child a Hebrew name in a naming ceremony. “Part of the conversion process is a commitment on the parents’ part to see it as a stepping-stone to the child’s Jewish identity through education and participation in Jewish life,” he says.

“It has been a privilege I have been blessed to share with several families to partner in bringing adopted children into the Jewish faith,” says Adler. “It can – and should – be a profoundly sensitive and bonding experience for a rabbi to be included in the discussions and the process. Aside from the actual technicalities of the conversion, it is amazing to see a family use love to grow more complete through the gift of adoption. Every adoptive family has my life-long respect and admiration.”

Appendix B: Thoughts from The Observant Life, Ed. By Martin Cohen (2012)

In the case of Jewish parents adopting a newborn boy, the conversion begins with the b'rit milah ceremony. (This need not be done on the eighth day of life, however.) The blessings are those for conversion and at a later date, after the circumcision has fully healed, the boy is brought to a mikveh to complete the conversion. The procedure at the mikveh is then the same for adopted children of both genders.

....

The same rules of conversion that apply to adults also apply to adopted infants or older children. The only difference would be that in such instances a formal period of study would not be necessary since the child would be educated in the normal manner in a religious school or day school setting. According to Jewish law, the child retains the option of rejecting the conversion upon reaching adulthood if he or she so chooses. In the case of adoption, it is permissible for the child to be called by the name of his or her adoptive father or parents. This becomes slightly complicated when the adoptive father is a kohein or leivi. In such cases, the priestly status does not pass on to an adopted child and this should be explained clearly to the family. It is, however, permissible to use the word ha-kohein or ha-leivi following the father's name, since the sobriquet is understood to apply to the father's name and not the child's.

- P. 257-8

Adoption has always been considered a praiseworthy way to create a family. Indeed, the Jewish attitude has always been that adoptive parents perform an act of great loving kindness (g’milut chesed) by providing a home for children in need. If the birth mother of a child is not Jewish, adopted children must be converted to Judaism at the time of adoption or soon after. (Various specific issues relating to the conversion of adopted children were discussed by the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards in 1987 in a paper by Rabbi Avram I. Reisner that is found here: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19861990/reisner_conversion.pdf. Adoption as a solution to infertility and as an act of loving kindness toward the child in need is discussed in a 1994 paper by Rabbi Elliot Dorff, which can be found here: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/dorff_artificial.pdf. If an adopted child is known unequivocally to have an unambiguously Jewish birth mother, then conversion is not required.

- P. 622

Adoptive parenthood is not a classical halakhic institution. That is, halakhic sources never consider the modern concept in which a child becomes the “naturalized” child of a couple who are not his or her biological parents. Indeed, there is no classical Hebrew word for adoption; the term immutz was coined in modern times [1960]. True, the classical sages lavishly praise those who raise children who are not their own biological offspring (as, for example, at BT Sanhedrin 19b). But they viewed this as a great act of tz’dakah rather than as some sort of virtual parenthood. Thus, as there is no halakhic assumption that adoption is something only a married couple can do, there are no classical obstacles to single people adopting children. There may even be a Biblical precedent for single-parent adoption: Mordechai is said to have raised his young cousin Hadassah/Esther, and the Book of Esther makes no reference to him having a wife.

Rabbi Dorff raised the same concerns about single-parent adoption that he discussed regarding DI for single women: “Single parents often do a remarkable job of raising their children, and it is certainly better for a child to have one caring parent than temporary foster parents or no parents at all. Still, if the child could be adopted by two parents, that might well be better for the child’s welfare” (Matters of Life and Death, p. 114). Rabbi Golinkin concurs that adoption by single parents does pose some of the same problems as DI, including potentially weakening the stability of the family as an institution. But on balance, he concurs.

- P. 655

What are the obligations of parents to their adopted children? Although the modern practice of adoption differs from customs that prevailed in ancient times, the Bible provides a framework for thinking about the obligation of adoptive parents when it reports on the adoption of Moses by Pharaoh’s daughter, and on Esther’s adoption by her cousin Mordechai. Adoption itself is deemed intensely praiseworthy. The Talmud states, for example, that “whoever raises an orphan in his home is considered by Scripture as if [the orphan] were his [own] child” (BT Sanhedrin 19b, where the text clearly applies to mothers as well as to fathers). If an adopted child’s birth mother is not Jewish, then the adoptive parents are obligated formally to convert their child with the rituals of circumcision (for boys), and, for boys and girls, immersion in a kosher mikveh under the supervision of a rabbinic court.

The act of adoption places reciprocal obligations upon the child and the adoptive parents (Menachem Elon, Jewish Law, [1994; reprint, Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society, 2003], vol. 2, p. 827). Rabbi Isaac Klein rules that adoptive parents are obligated to circumcise their sons, and adopted children must say Kaddish for their adoptive parents (Klein, pp. 437ff.). We may extrapolate from this and other rulings that once an adoption is legal according to civil law, the obligations of parents to their adopted children, and of children to their adoptive parents, are absolute and permanent. Adoptive parents must educate and support their children to maturity; children must respect and honor their adoptive parents until the end of their lives.

Unlike other legal systems, Jewish law does not sever the obligations of an adopted child toward his or her natural parents (Elon, p. 827). This means that if a child identifies his or her biological parents, even later in life, he or she should attempt to honor and respect that parent, even if the establishment of a relationship rooted in love feels unlikely or unrealistic. If the biological parent does not want such a relationship, then the child may simply have to respect him or her from a distance.

- P. 686

When a couple cannot have biological children, adoption is an available option. In Jewish law, one's personal status is a function of one's biological parents, and there is no institution of adoption that would change that. Jewish law does, however, provide for guardianship of minors whose parents cannot take care of them, and the duties of the guardian are very much like those of modern-day adoptive parents. As in most modern legal systems, the welfare of the child is the chief concern in Jewish law, and the court, "the father of all orphans" (BT Bava Kamma 37a and Gittin 37a), is responsible for seeing that children are treated well -- even to the point of removing a child from the home of his or her natural parents. Moreover, the Jewish tradition highly praises adults who raise minors who are not their biological children, for the "do right at all times." One midrashic text finds the root of this notion in a verse from the Psalms: "Happy are they who act justly, who do right at all times" (Psalm 106:3). Is it possible to do right at all times?... Rabbi Samuel bar Nachmani said, "This refers to a person who brings up an orphan boy or girl in his or her house and who [ultimately] enables that orphan to marry (Esther Rabba 6:1).

Furthermore, along with all others who teach children Torah, adoptive parents are to be seen as if they had given birth to them (BT M'gillah 13a and Sanhedrin 19b). It is for this reason that such children may be called by their adoptive parents' names in legal documents and may be called to the Torah as "son (or daughter) of the adoptive parents" (BT Sanhedrin 19b, based on 2 Samuel 21:8).

While Roman and American law sever all previous relationships between the biological parent and the adopted child (to the point that, until recent changes, the parties to the adoption were to remain anonymous to each other forever), and while English common law, on the other end of the spectrum, makes the adopting parent no more than a temporary guardian, Jewish law takes an intermediate position. The personal status of the child in matters of Jewish identity, priestly status, and the definition of incest, on the one hand, depend solely upon the status of the child's biological parents. On the other hand, however, Jewish law takes seriously the guardianship of adoptive parents, imposing upon the children involved the filial duties of honor and respect and permitting those children to be known as the children of the adoptive parents. Furthermore, the adopting parents have the same obligations toward their children as do biological parents. The must be responsible for their children's upbringing, education, and physical accommodations, and they must administer their children's property. If the guardian dies, his or her estate is responsible to provide for their children's care. The demands of guardianship are so strong that they were once invoked in a New York case to extend the obligations of the adoptive father beyond the demands of civil law. (Interested readers may consult Wener v. Wener 59 Misc. 2d 959, 301 N.Y. Supp. 2d 237 [Sup. Ct. 1969]; and cf. the appeal, 35 App. Div. 2d 50, 312 N.Y. Supp. 2d 815 [2d Dept. 1970], where the judgement was affirmed but not on its religious grounds.) Similarly, according to Rabbi Moses Sofer (Responsa, vol. 1, Orach Chayyim 164, Ed. Bratislava, 1912, pp.63a-b), adopted children do not incur the obligations of mourning upon the death of their biological parents, but they do have such obligations when their adoptive parents die. (For a concise compendium of these and other rules concerning adoption, together with the sources for some of the laws mentioned above, see the following articles in the Encyclopedia Judaica: "Adoption," 2:298-303; "Apotropos" 3:218-222; and "Orphan," 12:1478-1480.)

In appreciation of the immensely significant role that adoptive parents have in their children's upbringing, and in recognition of the close bonds that adopted siblings create with each other, the Conservative rabbinate, based on Rabbi Dorff's responsum that was approved by the CJLS in March 1994, considers adopted children to have the status of relatives of he second degree (sh'niyyot), and therefore sex or marriage between them is prohibited. (See "Artificial Insemination, Egg Donation, and Adoption" available here: https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/assets/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/dorff_artificial.pdf, and reprinted in slightly different form in Matters of Life and Death, pp. 37-107.

Many infertile Jewish couples cannot find Jewish children to adopt because of the high rate of abortion among Jews. This argues for two things. First, Jews should understand that although Jewish law requires abortion when the life or physical or mental health of the mother is at stake and permits it when there is a risk to the mother's life or health above that of normal pregnancy, by and large Jewish tradition prohibits abortion in most situations. Parents should know that even if they cannot or will not care for a child, an abundance of infertile Jewish couples would do so willingly and lovingly, and that makes non-therapeudic abortions even less justifiable.

Second, Jewish couples contemplating adoption should consider non-Jewish children, including those of any race. If the birth mother was not Jewish, conversion will be necessary, but in the case of children that is an easy process. Couples might also consider children older than infancy or those with some disability; they, after all, are also God's children, and manyh more of them are available for adoption. Indeed, Jews with biological children of their own should also consider adopting children into their families as an act of loving kindness, chesed, of the first order.

At the same time, couples need to be aware of some of the special legal and psychological issues that may arise in adoption. These are discussed in some length in Matters of Life and Death, (pp. 107-111, and see also pp. 81-97). None of these concerns, however, should prevent people from adopting children. Moreover, Jews should seriously consider serving as a Jewish Big Brother or Big Sister to children who have only one parent or finding other ways to become involved in the lives of children who need additional adult role models.

- P. 822-824

Appendix D: Thoughts From Guide to Religious Life, by Rabbi Isaac Klein (1979)