We have a mishnayos chabura at the shteeble & came across a mishna that I think every line fits the baal simcha (mishna says: arba avos nezikin...ha'shor...bear w/me...)
חֲמִשָּׁה תַלְמִידִים הָיוּ לוֹ לְרַבָּן יוֹחָנָן בֶּן זַכַּאי, וְאֵלּוּ הֵן, רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בֶּן הוֹרְקְנוֹס, וְרַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן חֲנַנְיָה, וְרַבִּי יוֹסֵי הַכֹּהֵן, וְרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן נְתַנְאֵל, וְרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן עֲרָךְ.
הוּא הָיָה מוֹנֶה שִׁבְחָן:
רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בֶּן הוֹרְקְנוֹס, בּוֹר סוּד שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְאַבֵּד טִפָּה.
רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן חֲנַנְיָה, אַשְׁרֵי יוֹלַדְתּוֹ.
רַבִּי יוֹסֵי הַכֹּהֵן, חָסִיד.
רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן נְתַנְאֵל, יְרֵא חֵטְא.
וְרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן עֲרָךְ, מַעְיָן הַמִּתְגַּבֵּר.
(8) Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai received [the oral tradition] from Hillel and Shammai. He used to say: if you have learned much Torah, do not claim credit for yourself, because for such a purpose were you created. Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai had five disciples and they were these: Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus, Rabbi Joshua ben Hananiah, Rabbi Yose, the priest, Rabbi Shimon ben Nethaneel and Rabbi Eleazar ben Arach. He [Rabbi Johanan] used to list their outstanding virtues: Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus is a plastered cistern which loses not a drop; Rabbi Joshua ben Hananiah happy is the woman that gave birth to him; Rabbi Yose, the priest, is a pious man; Rabbi Simeon ben Nethaneel is one that fears sin, And Rabbi Eleazar ben Arach is like a spring that [ever] gathers force. He [Rabbi Yohanan] used to say: if all the sages of Israel were on one scale of the balance and Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus on the other scale, he would outweigh them all. Abba Shaul said in his name: if all the sages of Israel were on one scale of the balance, and Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus also with them, and Rabbi Eleazar ben Arach on the other scale, he would outweigh them all.
All Pirkei Avos is to teach us s/t, what does this mishna teach?
Every talmid/child has their unique qualities / individuality. Can't put e/o in 1 size fits all box, won't develop properly to their potential
וְהַעֲמִידוּ תַלְמִידִים הַרְבֵּה
אָמַר לָהֶם, צְאוּ וּרְאוּ אֵיזוֹהִי דֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה שֶׁיִּדְבַּק בָּהּ הָאָדָם.
עַיִן טוֹבָה.
חָבֵר טוֹב. שָׁכֵן טוֹב.
לֵב טוֹב.
(9) He [Rabban Yohanan] said unto them: go forth and observe which is the right way to which a man should cleave? Rabbi Eliezer said, a good eye; Rabbi Joshua said, a good companion; Rabbi Yose said, a good neighbor; Rabbi Shimon said, foresight. Rabbi Elazar said, a good heart. He [Rabban Yohanan] said to them: I prefer the words of Elazar ben Arach, for in his words your words are included. He [Rabban Yohanan] said unto them: go forth and observe which is the evil way which a man should shun? Rabbi Eliezer said, an evil eye; Rabbi Joshua said, an evil companion; Rabbi Yose said, an evil neighbor; Rabbi Shimon said, one who borrows and does not repay for he that borrows from man is as one who borrows from God, blessed be He, as it is said, “the wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous deal graciously and give” (Psalms 37:21). Rabbi Elazar said, an evil heart. He [Rabban Yohanan] said to them: I prefer the words of Elazar ben Arach, for in his words your words are included.
Each came up w/ diff derech/middah, each has their individual path
It's a little intimidating to speak at Chuni simcha,
One of Chuni's maalos is he's original, unique, creative.
I don't have a Red Riding Hood or Goldilocks & 3 bears theme for this speech. & I don't have any - how shall I say - interesting props...
But it's not just speeches that he does with a geshmake flair: mI just jotted down a few examples that came to mind:
- As a baal tefillah, he adds his own unique touch, those extra k'naiches that sets him apart
- The way he says over a vort with a chiyus & a passion
- Dancing - a little extra
- Rebbe talis…going back some years but shows his mind set, noticed the Rebbe’s talis could use a cleaning, convinced the Rebbe to let him shlep it to Williamsburg, & then unbeknownst to the Rebbe have the Atara removed & put on a brand new talis that Chuni bought. Thats out of the box thinking! It's also a real azus, ...how did you know it wasn’t a heirloom passed down from the berditchever?? Guts
- Chol Hamoed trips: Ungers not copping out like Nathans going to Dave & busters for 23rd year in a row or a trip to Judaica plus – no, apple picking or pumpkin picking or shark diving, shark diving while apple picking..
- You know Purim is here when Chuni is wearing that cool willy wonka top hat, shalach manos
-
If he's gonna make a Guacamole dip it's not gonna be stam
All to enhance avodas Hashem
צאו וראו איזו היא דרך טובה שידבק בה האדם
...כן פירשו הראשונים ז"ל ואינו דרך ישר כי לפי דבריהם עין טובה ולב טוב הם דברים שבגופו וחבר ושכן טוב משל אחרים.
איזו היא דרך ישרה שידבק בה האדם...ר"ל להדבק במדה אחת להיות שלם בה כי טוב לאדם לאחוז במדה אחת בשלמות, ונקל אליו להשיג ממנה אל כל המדות החשובות, מהיותו בן כמה מדות ואיננו שלם באחת מהן.
(ו) רבי יהושע אומר חבר טוב. שידבק אל דרך הישר הזה והוא נקל לעשותו ולהיות חבר טוב לאיש אחר לאשר לבו חפץ. ולהרגיל עצמו שתהא רוח (אחרת) נוחה הימנו וכן יבא באהבה עם כל הבריות:
(ז) ר' יוסי אומר שכן טוב. שיהא בעצמו שכן טוב אל כל שכניו, ואחר היותו טוב ואוהב נאמן לחמשה בני אדם או לשמונה. קרוב אליו הדבר לאהוב את כל באי עולם. ונמצא מאושר ובכל המדות הטובות:...
חָבֵר טוֹב. שָׁכֵן טוֹב.
R Yonah: BE a chaver tov, BE the shochein tov - by being a chaver tov to even one yid causes one to break down down the mechitza of selfishness & leads one to all good qualites, savlanus, rachamanus
- For simcha shlepped over plants for the planters in front of house
- During covid I was sick Malkie was overwhelmed with 19 kids from EY, the house flying, Chaya sent soups, cakes. Whenever we make a simcha she sends bags of stuff for the l'chaim aufruf Sheva brachos.
- Back pain, any time of night, bandage wrap, physical therapy on table at shteeble after late maariv, in positions a human being is not meant to be twisted in, PTSD, magic light wand day b4 Chanala's chasuna, b’kitzur, he's the kind of friend who's got your back, & does it with a varmkeit, with a smile, with a n'eemus & with real care & concern
- The kind of friends who will shlep to Toronto & not take the guest bus back to the hotel but stay till end Uber
עַיִן טוֹבָה
1) A person w/ ayin tova sees the good in the briah & the good in people (emulating Hashem "v'yar es kol asher asa v'hinei tov meod",
To the baal ayin tova rain is good, (wind, sun, winter) & people are good
They exude positivity & optimism
You will never hear from them the biting, sarcastic comments that most people engage in.
2) Another aspect of ayin tova - R Avraham Grodzinski in Warsaw to visit relatives, throughout the visit he kept asking what time it was.
At one point after being told the time he got up and started to dance. His host asked him what he was doing but he was oblivious to a surroundings as he danced with great fervor. When he finished he sat back down again as if nothing had happened.
They asked him why he had danced, he explained that one talmidim was getting married in Slabodka that night. While unfortunately I wasn't able to be there for his simcha he said there is no reason that I could not share in a simcha
People w/ ayin tova don't begrudge the simcha & success of others - aderaba they rejoice in the good fortune of others
Truly b'simcha at your simcha, watch Chuni at a chasuna, dances w/ a bren, a simcha like it's his own
Just wanna say Malkie could say twice as much abt chaya…& if not such a religious crowd she would come up & speak…you want to?
Rayim ahuvim
Chaver tov = rayim ahuvim
Loyalty chinuch (v’yadativ lmaan yitzaveh es baiso…)
rayim ahuvim, loyalty marriage RM v'davak (rus naomi). romance out the window
the kallah will be rayim ahuvim from her parents chaver tov
Atem hadeveikim bayis neeman