We are going to see the times that Yosef cries in the Torah. At every time, I'd like us to think what are the functions of the tears? What are they expressing?
How do we relate to the idea of Yosef crying? Is there something that bothers you? Why?
(ה) וַיִּרְאוּ אֲחֵי יוֹסֵף כִּי מֵת אֲבִיהֶם. וּמָה רָאוּ עַתָּה שֶׁפָּחֲדוּ. אֶלָּא בְּעֵת שֶׁחָזְרוּ מִקְּבוּרַת אֲבִיהֶם רָאוּ שֶׁהָלַךְ יוֹסֵף לְבָרֵךְ עַל אוֹתוֹ הַבּוֹר שֶׁהִשְׁלִיכוּהוּ אֶחָיו בְּתוֹכוֹ, וּבֵרַךְ עָלָיו, כְּמוֹ שֶׁחַיָּב אָדָם לְבָרֵךְ עַל מָקוֹם שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה לוֹ נֵס, בָּרוּךְ הַמָּקוֹם שֶׁעָשָׂה לִי נֵס בַּמָּקוֹם הַזֶּה. וְכֵיוָן שֶׁרָאוּ כָּךְ, אָמְרוּ, עַכְשָׁו מֵת אָבִינוּ, לוּ יִשִׂטְמֵנוּ יוֹסֵף וְהָשֵׁב יָשִׁיב לָנוּ אֵת כָּל הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר גָּמַלְנוּ אֹתוֹ. וַיְצַוּוּ אֶל יוֹסֵף לֵאמֹר אָבִיךָ צִוָּה וְגוֹ', כֹּה תֹאמְרוּ לְיוֹסֵף אָנָּא וְגוֹ'. חִפַּשְׂנוּ וְלֹא מָצָאנוּ שֶׁצִּוָּה יַעֲקֹב דָּבָר זֶה. אֶלָּא בּוֹא וּרְאֵה כַּמָּה גָדוֹל כֹּחַ הַשָּׁלוֹם, שֶׁכָּתַב הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בְּתוֹרָתוֹ עַל כֹּחַ הַשָּׁלוֹם אֵלּוּ הַדְּבָרִים.
(5) And when Joseph’s brethren saw that their father was dead, etc. (Gen. 50:13). What did they see that frightened them? As they were returning from the burial of their father, they saw their brother go to the pit into which they had hurled him, in order to bless it. He blessed the pit with the benediction “Blessed be the place where He performed a miracle for me,” just as any man is required to pronounce a blessing at the place where a miracle had been performed in his behalf. When they beheld this they cried out: Now that our father is dead, Joseph will hate us and will fully requite us for all the evil which we did unto him. And they sent a message unto Joseph, saying: Thy father did command … “So shall ye say unto Joseph: Forgive” (Gen. 50:15–16). We have searched the entire Scripture and are unable to find any place where Jacob uttered this remark. This statement is introduced to teach us the importance of peace. The Holy One, blessed be He, wrote these words in the Torah for the sake of peace alone.
Ted Lendon:
But if you look at it in Greek terms it is admired, and it should be admired ... what I guess I would say to you is something that we don’t notice, which is that since 1600, maybe 1500, the west has been extraordinarily self controlled place. That is, we do not, men do not cry in public. In fact, the accepted, shall we say, volume of or the accepted range of emotion that men are allowed to display in public is limited.
And if you go back before that, to the middle ages, you see kings crying and all sorts of things that we would consider quite off color these days. Of course there have been periods of greater emotional openness, the 1960s, of less emotional openness, all this doesn’t much matter. In practice, since 15, 1600 we have been a society that has defined manliness in large part in terms of self control, to such a degree that we no longer notice. [Art of Manliness Podcast, #299 - What the Ancient Greeks Thought About Manliness]