Giving, taking, permitting, binding: Reading sex & marriage in Parashat Vayetzei

(15) Laban said to Jacob, “Just because you are a kinsman, should you serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?” (16) Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older one was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. (17) Leah had weak eyes; Rachel was shapely and beautiful. (18) Jacob loved Rachel; so he answered, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” (19) Laban said, “Better that I give her to you than that I should give her to an outsider. Stay with me.” (20) So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. (21) Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife [ishti, lit. "my woman"], for my time is fulfilled, that I may cohabit with her.” (22) And Laban gathered all the people of the place and made a feast. (23) When evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to him; and he came to her.— (24) Laban had given his maidservant Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her maid.— (25) When morning came, there was Leah! So he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I was in your service for Rachel! Why did you deceive me?” (26) Laban said, “It is not the practice in our place to marry off [lit. "to give"] the younger before the older. (27) Wait until the bridal week of this one is over and we will give you that one too, provided you serve me another seven years.” (28) Jacob did so; he waited out the bridal week of the one, and then he gave him his daughter Rachel as wife [ishah, lit. woman].— (29) Laban had given his maidservant Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maid.— (30) And Jacob cohabited with [lit. came to] Rachel also; indeed, he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he served him another seven years.

(16) When Jacob came home from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You are to sleep with me, (lit. come to me) for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” And he lay with her that night. (17) God heeded Leah, and she conceived and bore him a fifth son. (18) And Leah said, “God has given me my reward [s'chari]for having given my maid to my husband.” So she named him Issachar.

Blessed are you Hashem, our God ruler of the universe, who releases captives [matir asurim.]

Sustainer of the living with kindliness, Resurrector of the dead with great mercy, Supporter of the fallen, and Healer of the sick, and Releaser of the imprisoned, and Fulfiller of His faithfulness to those who sleep in the dust. Who is like You, Master of mighty deeds, and who can be compared to You? King Who causes death and restores life, and causes deliverance to sprout forth.

It is taught in another baraita: One recites the benediction of the grooms in the house of the grooms, and the benediction of the betrothal in the house of the betrothal. With regard to the benediction of the betrothal, what formula does one recite? Ravin bar Rav Adda and Rabba bar Rav Adda both said in the name of Rav Yehuda: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who sanctified us through His mitzvot, and commanded us concerning the forbidden relatives, and prohibited [asar] to us those women who are betrothed, and permitted [hitir] to us those women who are married by means of the wedding canopy and betrothal. Rav Aḥa, son of Rava, concludes the blessing in the name of Rav Yehuda: Blessed are You, Lord, Who sanctifies Israel by means of the wedding canopy and betrothal.