Sources from essay by Rabbi Judith Lazarus Siegal in The Mussar Torah Commentary
Jacob goes through a major life transformation in Parashat Vayishlach, including a wrestling match with God and a change in his name from Jacob to Israel. These changes are reflective of changes in Jacob's character as well, as he goes from a person filled with fear to one who is full of awe and gratitude. His transformation involves resolving old issues and grappling with feelings of guilt over his stealing the blessing and birthright from his brother and, in the process, lying to their father, Isaac. As Jacob prepares to see his brother Esau in the morning, he lies restless.
-Rabbi Judith Lazarus Siegal
(ז) וַיָּשֻׁ֙בוּ֙ הַמַּלְאָכִ֔ים אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֖ב לֵאמֹ֑ר בָּ֤אנוּ אֶל־אָחִ֙יךָ֙ אֶל־עֵשָׂ֔ו וְגַם֙ הֹלֵ֣ךְ לִקְרָֽאתְךָ֔ וְאַרְבַּע־מֵא֥וֹת אִ֖ישׁ עִמּֽוֹ׃ (ח) וַיִּירָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב מְאֹ֖ד וַיֵּ֣צֶר ל֑וֹ וַיַּ֜חַץ אֶת־הָעָ֣ם אֲשֶׁר־אִתּ֗וֹ וְאֶת־הַצֹּ֧אן וְאֶת־הַבָּקָ֛ר וְהַגְּמַלִּ֖ים לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־יָב֥וֹא עֵשָׂ֛ו אֶל־הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הָאַחַ֖ת וְהִכָּ֑הוּ וְהָיָ֛ה הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הַנִּשְׁאָ֖ר לִפְלֵיטָֽה׃ (י) וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ יַעֲקֹב֒ אֱלֹהֵי֙ אָבִ֣י אַבְרָהָ֔ם וֵאלֹהֵ֖י אָבִ֣י יִצְחָ֑ק יְהֹוָ֞ה הָאֹמֵ֣ר אֵלַ֗י שׁ֧וּב לְאַרְצְךָ֛ וּלְמוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וְאֵיטִ֥יבָה עִמָּֽךְ׃
(7) The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau; he himself is coming to meet you, and his retinue numbers four hundred.” (8) Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, (9) thinking, “If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, the other camp may yet escape.” (10) Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham’s [house] and God of my father Isaac’s [house], O יהוה, who said to me, ‘Return to your native land and I will deal bountifully with you’!
(25) Jacob was left alone. And a figure wrestled with him until the break of dawn. (26) When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled with him. (27) Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.” But he answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” (28) Said the other, “What is your name?” He replied, “Jacob.” (29) Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed.”
Though yirah can describe the unified fear/awe experience, the term can also be used for the singular experiences of fear and of awe...The Duties of the Heart makes this very point. 'The fear of Heaven has two aspects: the fear of tribulations and Divine retribution, and the awe of His Glory, majesty, and awesome power.'"
-Alan Morinis
Jacob is a model of another kind of yirah. Jacob is fearful, and rightly so. Not only has he done wrong in the eyes of God, but he has wronged his brother, who may understandably be hurt and angry with him. Jacob moves beyond his fear, symbolized by the wrestling he does with a man (perhaps his conscience?) throughout the night. When we have wronged someone, we, too, must take that fear of what may become of us, either through divine punishment or the anger of the person we have harmed, and turn it into something more productive.
-Rabbi Judith Lazarus Siegal
It is clear that the awe of God's majesty is on a more exalted plane than the fear of future accountability.
-Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer
The meaning of awe is to realize that life takes place under wide horizons, horizons that range beyond the span of an individual life or even the life of a nation, a generation, or an era. Awe enables us to perceive in the world intimations of the divine, to sense in small things the beginning of infinite significance, ot sense the ultimate in the common and the simple; to feel in the rush of the passing the stillness of the eternal.
-Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel
Jacob reminds us that in our own lives we can live looking back over our shoulders, worried about the consequences of our wrongdoing; or we can hold on tight to the present moment, struggle with wahtever life gives us, and then try to move ourselves toward the middah of awe. We can let the beauty and blessing in our lives inspire us, help us feel grateful, and, like Jacob, feel truly blessed.
-Rabbi Judith Lazarus Siegal
Questions to Ask
Has there been a time that you have felt true fear that changed to something else, and if so, how did that change within you happen?
When you think of the middah of yirah, do you first associate it with fear or with something closer to awe? How are those two qualities linked for you?